Lily: So, what do you want to do tonight? Drink ourselves blind, set a car on fire? Ooh, watch a movie that doesn't start with a desk lamp jumping on top of a capital "I"? I'm all yours, Teddy Westside.
Ted: Actually, tonight it's Teddy Westchester. Got to head up to the house, take care of some stuff.
Lily: Oh, yeah, how's the restoration going?
Ted: Actually, done.
Lily: You finished the house? Well, I want to see it
Ted: Marshall already canceled the cable, huh?
Lily: And the Wi-Fi. It's like Little House on the Freaking Prairie up there.

Ted: They're happy. And I'm happy for them. I want them to have an amazing life together. I just... I just think it would be best for everyone if I wasn't around for it.
Lily: Did something happen recently between you and Robin?
Ted: No.
Lily: Where's the poop, Ted?

Barney: El Piramide. The first cigar we ever smoked together.
Robin: Aw, Barney.
Krirsten: Excuse me. Hi. Could you not? Thanks.
Robin: Uh, dude, I'm not gonna light 'em up in here. I'm just looking at 'em.
Krirsten: Right, but even when they're unlit, the smell, it's very...
Calvin: Pungent.
Krirsten: Exactly. Thank you. It's a very pungent smell. So, could you not? Thanks.
Robin: Okay.
Calvin: I'm sorry, can you also put the bag away? It-It's just really unappetizing to look at.
Barney: You're unappetizing to look at.
Robin: You know what? Um, I'll put them away, okay? Enjoy your night.
Calvin: We'll try.
Robin: Did those two just become our archenemies?
Barney: No, Robin, they've always been our archenemies. They've only just revealed themselves.