Barney Quote #1882
Quote from Barney in The Bro Mitzvah
Robin: But I'm still... I don't know. I'm worried she won't think I'm good enough to be engaged to her precious little Love-Love.
Barney: Okay, first of all, it's "Wuv-Wuv". And second, don't worry. I'm just gonna drop off our catering deposit, and then I will be there for you.
Robin: Okay, well, please don't be late. I am counting on you tonight. And be careful... that's 5,000 bucks in there.
Barney: Uh, I think I'll be okay walking four blocks here on the Upper East Side.
[A masked man throws a cover over Barney's head and pushes him into a waiting minivan.]
Barney: Please, I swear I never talked to the North Koreans! Unless you are the North Koreans, in which case I never talked to the South Koreans!
Man: [altered voice] Barney Stinson, you are being kidnapped.
Ted: For your surprise bachelor party!
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘The Bro Mitzvah’ Quotes
Quote from Barney
Marshall: Another guest? Who could this be? Why, it's Lily! And she's here to deliver one of your requests!
Barney: Oh, thank you, Marshall.
Lily: Oh, not that one.
[flashback to ten months earlier:]
Barney: An appearance by my all-time idol, the Karate Kid!
Future Ted: [v.o.] The Karate Kid was an uplifting '80s classic about a teen, played by Ralph Macchio, who defeats the local jerk, played by William Zabka. At least, that's how most people saw it.
Lily: Here he is, just as hot as when his Tiger Beat photo spread gave a young girl the courage to explore the suddenly unfamiliar topography of her changing body... the Karate Kid!
Ralph Macchio: Hey, Barney. It's Ralph. Listen, it's always flattering...
Barney: No! I hate Ralph Macchio! I hate him, hate him, hate him! He is not the Karate Kid! The Karate Kid was William Zabka, star pupil of the Cobra Kai Dojo, who this monster defeated with a cheap, illegal head-kick in the most tragically haunting film ending of all time.
Ralph Macchio: Oh, see, I thought you meant fun-crazy.
Barney: Shut it, Ralph Macchio. Why don't you go have a party with Luke Skywalker and Harry Potter and War Horse and all the other movie bad guys and stop ruining mine!
Quote from Loretta
Loretta: Hold on. You want me to help you trick my own son? I love it. Barney deserves it. You know, he told me you were a virgin.
Robin: [scoffs] Ridiculous!
Loretta: I know. You are a dirty ho-bag just like me. But he loves you so much. And so do I.
Robin: [mouths] Ho-bag?
Quote from Barney
Ted: But don't worry. Back when you were engaged to Quinn, you told us everything you wanted for tonight.
[flashback to ten months earlier:]
Barney: A bachelor party is a man's... bro mitzvah!
Quinn: Did you just think of that?
Barney: Totally! We can wear... bro-mulkes, spin the bro-del... and consult the wisdom of the Bro-rah. Written in... He-bro.
Ted: Not at all bro-ffensive.
Barney: Ooh, ooh! Couple other ideas, and I'm just spit balling here... so take 'em or leave 'em. Booze, duh, cigars, duh, strippers, duh... Ooh! Things should get so crazy that at some point we should fear for our lives.