Barney Quote #1873

Quote from Barney in Romeward Bound

Lily: Im sorry. I got to hit pause for a second. Why is it so hot in here?
Barney: Oh, right. While you were blabbering on and on about your whole life crisis or whatever, I slipped Carl a hundred to turn the heat up in here.
Lily: What? Why?
Barney: Because she is still in the big puffy coat!
Lily: Barney, what are you doing?
Barney: I'm trying her out of that coat, that's what I'm doing! I'm fighting hotness with hotness!
Lily: You're engaged.
Barney: Okay, Lily, clearly you're forgetting something. Yes, I'm engaged to the coolest girl on Earth. This is about looking, not touching. Robin understands there is one set of balls she can't tie up with a necktie and lightly hit with a Ping-Pong paddle. These balls.

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 ‘Romeward Bound’ Quotes

Quote from The Captain

Lily: Okay, I'm gonna call The Captain, get this over with.
The Captain: [answers phone] Ahoy.
Lily: Hello, Captain?
The Captain: Lily, I hope you're not calling to harpoon our big move to Rome.
Lily: Thank you, but I can't ask my husband to abandon his career.
The Captain: Would you like me to try and convince him? I'm very persuasive.
Lily: I'm sorry, the ship has sailed.
The Captain: What's that mean?
Lily: Well, you know, "The ship has sailed"? That it's over and there's nothing you can do?
The Captain: What a peculiar expression. Well, thanks for all your hard work, Lily. I've never been good at good-byes, so... [hangs up]

Quote from Marshall

Marshall: So, how many times are you gonna say no to your dream job? I'm just trying to plan my day.
Lily: I'm a scaredy-cat, okay? I want to be the type of person that just charges fearlessly into the unknown, but I came back two weeks early from Paris because I was lonely. I went to San Francisco, and I was never more depressed in my life. I'm small town, Marshall. I'm a hick from Brooklyn who's terrified of living more than ten subway stops from where I was born.
Marshall: Okay, Lily, if I can move from St. Cloud, Minnesota, to New York City, then you can move to Rome.
Lily: We know nothing about Italy. We have no friends there. We don't speak the language.
Marshall: [in Italian] "Come on, bro. Don't Bogart all the Funyuns."
Lily: Okay, so you know that one sentence. Can you say anything else?
Marshall: [haltingly, in Italian] "Come on. "Bro." "Don't Bogart all the Funyuns."
Lily: That-that was the same sentence. You just changed the inflection.
Marshall: [repeating the same Italian words] "Okay. I know. Maybe the only sentence I know is 'Come on, bro. Don't Bogart all the Funyuns.' But I know, in my heart, that you understand me anyway. Because no one has ever understood anyone better than you and I understand each other. Is the trip going to be scary? Yes. Do I like the idea of not knowing the language? Of course not. But I believe we can do this. I love you, Lily. I love you.
Lily: I love you, too. All right.

Quote from Barney

Lily: Guys, The Captain just made me a very interesting offer.
Barney: Finally, we get around to the real reason he hired you. Just promise you film it, and please use a tripod. There's nothing artistic about shaky-cam. It just looks sloppy.