Barney Quote #1871
Barney: Well, this has been fun. I should go.
Ted: But you literally just got here.
Barney: I didn't "literally" just get here. I hate when people misuse that word.
Ted: So do I. But you literally just got here.
Barney: Hey, Ted. Well, this has been fun. I should go.
Barney: Okay, fine, now I'm leaving. Why do people go to a bar, anyway? To get your drink on and some girl's pants off. I can do both at home.
Quote from The Captain
Lily: Okay, I'm gonna call The Captain, get this over with.
The Captain: [answers phone] Ahoy.
Lily: Hello, Captain?
The Captain: Lily, I hope you're not calling to harpoon our big move to Rome.
Lily: Thank you, but I can't ask my husband to abandon his career.
The Captain: Would you like me to try and convince him? I'm very persuasive.
Lily: I'm sorry, the ship has sailed.
The Captain: What's that mean?
Lily: Well, you know, "The ship has sailed"? That it's over and there's nothing you can do?
The Captain: What a peculiar expression. Well, thanks for all your hard work, Lily. I've never been good at good-byes, so... [hangs up]
Quote from Marshall
Marshall: So, how many times are you gonna say no to your dream job? I'm just trying to plan my day.
Lily: I'm a scaredy-cat, okay? I want to be the type of person that just charges fearlessly into the unknown, but I came back two weeks early from Paris because I was lonely. I went to San Francisco, and I was never more depressed in my life. I'm small town, Marshall. I'm a hick from Brooklyn who's terrified of living more than ten subway stops from where I was born.
Marshall: Okay, Lily, if I can move from St. Cloud, Minnesota, to New York City, then you can move to Rome.
Lily: We know nothing about Italy. We have no friends there. We don't speak the language.
Marshall: [in Italian] "Come on, bro. Don't Bogart all the Funyuns."
Lily: Okay, so you know that one sentence. Can you say anything else?
Marshall: [haltingly, in Italian] "Come on. "Bro." "Don't Bogart all the Funyuns."
Lily: That-that was the same sentence. You just changed the inflection.
Marshall: [repeating the same Italian words] "Okay. I know. Maybe the only sentence I know is 'Come on, bro. Don't Bogart all the Funyuns.' But I know, in my heart, that you understand me anyway. Because no one has ever understood anyone better than you and I understand each other. Is the trip going to be scary? Yes. Do I like the idea of not knowing the language? Of course not. But I believe we can do this. I love you, Lily. I love you.
Lily: I love you, too. All right.