Marshall Quote #1067

Quote from Marshall in Weekend at Barney's

Lily: As the captain's new art buyer, I have to go schmooze this up-and-coming artist, Strickland Stevens, so we get first dibs on all his new stuff.
Marshall: And I'll be helping Lily seal the deal by impressing the intelligentsia with some art-related hilarity. I've prepared some jokes. "Why couldn't the art dealer pay his rent?"
Robin: I don't know. Why?
Barney: This is gonna be rough.
Marshall: Because he ran out of Monet. You're gonna get that on the walk home. How about this one?
Robin: You know what, we'd... We'd love to hear it, but we've got that... that...
Barney: Steely Dan, Carnegie Hall, backstage pass. Let's go. We don't want to miss whatever their big song was.

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 ‘Weekend at Barney's’ Quotes

Quote from Barney

Marshall: This is the life. We got the three B's. Beach, booze and bodacious babes.
Ted: I don't know. I'm starting to think we should call the police.
Marshall: Oh, would you relax? We've got it made. One whole week at his bodacious beach house, no strings attached.
Ted: Well, there is one string attached.
Woman: Hi, Barney.
[Ted pulls a string to make Barney's arm wave]
Ted & Marshall: Bodacious.
[Barney jolts up in bed:]
Barney: "Weekend at Barney's!"
Robin: What is it? What's wrong?
Barney: The plays, Robin, the plays. The ingenious techniques I used as a bachelor to pick up busty dullards. They just keep coming to me, I can't turn them off.

Quote from Ted

Ted: Your wedding response card, as promised.
Robin: Why didn't you just mail it like everybody else?
Ted: Oh, see, that's sad, Robin. You should be touched that I hand-delivered it. Has social media so eroded our interpersonal relationships that we no longer wish to experience the...
Robin: You wanted to keep the stamp?
Ted: They're 46 cents now. It's getting out of hand.

 Marshall Eriksen Quotes

Quote from The Final Page (Part 2)

Marshall: Oh, I forgot the lullaby. Do you know Marvin's lullaby? We sing it to him every night.
[flashback to Marshall playing guitar and singing to Marvin with Lily adding percussion:]
Marshall: Night, night, little Marvin Stars twinkle for you [Lily plays chimes] The Dreamland train's a-chuggin' [Lily blows train whistle] All your dreams will come true And the horsie says, "Good night" [Lily plays wood scraper block] And the birdie says, "Good night" [Lily blows bird whistle] And the elephant says, "Good night" [Lily plays tuba] And the skeleton playing his own rib cage Says, "Good Night" [Lily plays xylophone] And the robot says, "Good night"
Lily: [uses a voice-changing megaphone] Good night.
Man: [o.s.] Enough with the damn music!
Marshall: [singing] And Mr. Nesbit says, "Good night" And the whole world says, "Good night" Take it, Mommy.
[Lily plays the violin]

Quote from Bagpipes

Barney: Hey, tiger. How you holding up? Do you need a hug? You want to talk about yesterday? Safe space.
Ted: Barney thinks Lily asking you to wash your dishes right away is a sign your marriage is crumbling.
Marshall: What? Why? Lily likes a clean sink, so I do the dishes right away, what's the big deal?
Barney: I'll tell you what the big deal is. You know how I was always the best at being single?
Ted: No.
Barney: Well, now I am the best at relationships. Even better than you and Lily.
Marshall: Aw. Look at you. Had a girlfriend for five minutes, you think you can play with the big boys, adorable. Son, I've been in a relationship since you had a ponytail and were playing Dave Matthews on your mama's Casio. I'm a good boyfriend in my sleep. I can rock a killer foot rub with one hand and brew a kick-ass pot of chamomile in the other that would make you weep. Hell, I've forgotten more about microwaving fat-free popcorn and watching Sandra Bullock movies than you'll ever know, but thanks for your concern, rook.