Future Ted Quote #201
Ted: Oh, really? And are you guys saying this because you don't want me to be with Jeanette, or because you want me to stay single so you guys can keep your clubhouse? J'accuse!
Future Ted: [v.o.] I had a point, and they knew it. You see, in early 2013, I was the only single guy in the group. Which meant whenever Marshall or Barney bought something they weren't allowed to keep in their apartments...
[montage of Ted taking delivery of Marshall's arcade game, Barney's Stormtrooper, Marshall's cotton candy machine, Barney's scooter, Marshall's horse, Barney's kayak -which he magically carries in holding both the front and back]
Quote from Barney
Ted: Okay, fine. I admit it. She's crazy. Obviously. But I'm not in this for the long haul. It's just, you know, it's just fun.
Barney: Of course it's fun, at first. But then when she starts calling out the name of her high school science teacher in the throes of passion, it's really fun. But then when she starts bringing knives into bed and making you fear for your safety? It's really, really fun. But then when she starts unbuttoning your pants while you're being forced to drive blindfolded down the freeway with a gun pointed at your... I'm sorry, what were we talking about?
Barney: Oh, right. That girl's crazy. You gotta break up with her.
Quote from Ted
Marshall: Wait a second. [Boston accent] Is she a cop?
Ted: [Boston accent] I think she's a cop!
Marshall: Did you know she was a cop?
Ted: I didn't know she was a cop!
Quote from Future Ted
Future Ted: Kids, early in this story, you may recall me saying something along the lines of...
Ted: Okay, no more dating. I am ready to settle down.
Future Ted: And at the time, I probably thought I meant it. But, kids, I'll be honest. Being single's fun. As a young unattached man in New York City, I had a great time. A great time. What was I saying? Oh, yeah. I had such a great time that it took someone very special to make me want to settle down. And that someone... was Jeanette. What made Jeanette so special? Well...
Jeanette: That was a foul! [throws bottle at the TV]
Future Ted: Jeanette was the last girl I dated before I met your mother. The girl who finally got me to say...
Ted: No more dating. I'm ready to settle down.
Future Ted: And really mean it.