Ted Quote #1237
Quote from Ted in Band or DJ
Lily: So, I just called up that wedding band's road manager to get the number of the people who booked them for the 25th so I could bribe them into giving up the band.
Ted: You did what? That is so dishonest! No matter what happens next, I th... I think we can all agree, you're in the wrong here, Lily.
Lily: It's your number, Ted.
Ted: All right. You got me! I put a nonrefundable deposit on that band to keep Barney and Robin from booking them. And I would've gottenaway with it... if it wasn't a really stupid and expensive plan.
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘Band or DJ’ Quotes
Quote from Marshall
Marshall: Okay, Ted. Bar. Now.
Lily: Nice try. You're gonna stick me with that baby, so that you guys can spend five minutes sorting out his love life followed by an hour of you getting drunk and pretending to be in The Departed.
Marshall: You know what? I'm sorry, Lily. Okay? But I just need to know. [Boston accent] Are you a cop?
Ted: [Boston accent] I'm not a cop!
Marshall: Are you a cop?
Ted: I'm not a cop!
Quote from Ted
Marshall: Food going in isn't the problem. It's what's coming out... or not coming out. He hasn't pooped in three days.
Lily: Yeah. Normally, I wouldn't wish one of his dirty diapers on my worst enemy, but now I kind of miss poppin'
the hood in the morning and finding that first big, juicy, black...
Ted: Lily! I'm eating chili. I'm eating chili, Lily.
Lily: Confetti. Big blast of confetti. Normally, the kid's a confetti machine. He's Rip Taylor in a diaper.
Marshall: I have a feeling at this point, Rip Taylor is Rip Taylor in a diaper.
Ted: And with that image, dinner is done.
Quote from Ted
Future Ted: [v.o.] I made a pretty strong case that night, but in the end, she didn't want a deejay. She wanted a band. And guess what happened.
[four months later:]
Ted: That's right. The band canceled at the last minute... just like I said they would. The wedding is in a week, and no bands. When will people realize I always know what's what?
Cindy: He says to the lesbian he dated for a month.
Ted: That's a fair point. Anyway, you guys wouldn't, uh, happen to know of any good wedding bands... available at the last minute, would you?
Casey: Ted, do you believe in destiny?
Ted: You really don't know me, do you?
Cindy: We just had brunch with my ex-roommate.
Ted: The bass player?
Cindy: No, she's not just a bass player. She's a bass player in the best wedding band in the tristate area. They had a gig lined up for this weekend, but it just fell through this morning.
Casey: You, my friend, are gonna save that wedding.
Ted: Do you know any deejays?
Cindy: Dude, come on!
Casey: Let it go, bro. Just let it go.
Ted: All right, all right, all right. Well, I guess, uh... Guess it's a lucky thing I ran into you guys.
Future Ted: [v.o.] And, kids, "lucky" doesn't even begin to describe it. Because if Robin and Barney had taken my stupid advice and hired a deejay... I never would have met your mother.