Barney Quote #1764
Quote from Barney in Twelve Horny Women
Bailiff: Barney, check it out. I found my scrapbook from the old days.
Barney: We're kind of busy right now, Warren. We're scaring kids straight, so...
Bailiff: No, no. Barney was the youngest member of our Magic Enthusiasts Club years back. Famous for escaping from handcuffs.
Lily: Handcuffs, huh?
Bailiff: Very tiny hands. That was his secret. See you around, baby hands.
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘Twelve Horny Women’ Quotes
Quote from Robin
Robin: Lily, let it go. I didn't want to brag, but I think it's time to acknowledge that I was the ultimate teenage badass of this group.
Lily: You were a teen pop star in Canada. You sang songs about the mall.
Robin: Hey. There is a dark side to being a rocker on the road north of the 49th.
[flashback to Robin smoking in a hotel room filled with people when two Mounties arrive:]
Robin: Hey.
Mountie: We've received some noise complaints, eh? Can you please lower the music?
Robin: Oh, yeah. Yeah, sure. Sure. How aboot, uh, I lower the TV, too, yeah? [throws TV out of the window]
[present:]
Robin: Three hours later, I was arrested drunk, naked, and driving a Zamboni. Man, that DUI drove my insurance through the roof.
Quote from Lily
Clerk: Sorry, Ms. Aldrin, there's no rap sheet under your name.
Lily: Oh, y-you know what, it must be under my street tag: Number One Gunna.
Clerk: Nope. Sorry, Number One Gunna. Next!
Lily: Those jive-ass turkeys must've lost it.
Ted: Well, they're pretty swamped arresting 1970s pimps like yourself.
Quote from Marshall
Future Ted: [v.o.] Kids, this a story about the time your Uncle Marshall went before the New York State Judiciary Committee, a panel that would decide the fate of his career. He thought he'd open with an icebreaker.
Marshall: By the way, did I mention those robes really do you all... justice? I'm just saying that you're all guilty... of looking sharp.