Barney Quote #1754
Quote from Barney in Splitsville
Barney: And the Oscar for Best Fake Romantic Speech goes to Barney Stinson. I'd like to thank all the ladies over the years with whom I've practiced fake romantic speeches. And, of course, Robin Scherbatsky for being so hypnotized by hog that she needed me to come and save her.
Robin: You know what? I didn't need your help.
Barney: You were this close to ripping off his misbuttoned shirt and pulling down his inside-out underpants.
Robin: I'll give you this. You were pretty convincing.
Barney: Hey, tricking good-looking idiots is kind of my thing.
Robin: No. I mean, you were really convincing.
Barney: Please. I was broing you out. I'm just glad he bought it so quick. Any longer, I'd have had to kiss you.
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘Splitsville’ Quotes
Quote from Ted
Ted: Wow. Crazy, right?
Lily: Yeah. You know what'd be really crazy? If all of 'em got it on. Barney, Robin, Nick and those two women. And you just know Nadia's watching in the corner with her pet snake.
Ted: Okay, why aren't you two having sex?
Lily: What?
Marshall: Excuse me?
Ted: Lily has been slobbering over Robin's sex life like a cartoon hobo watching a pie cool on a windowsill. And you, the only other time you've ever exercised this seriously was when Lily had mono freshman year and I caught you doing one-armed push-ups with your genitals over a bowl of ice. So when did you stop doing it and why?
Quote from Marshall
Robin: Nick and I haven't had sex in three days. And it's your fault. Nick won't have sex because he pulled his groin muscle all 'cause you made him join your stupid basketball team.
Marshall: Did you say "stupid basketball team"?
Robin: Yeah.
Marshall: Oh, my gosh. Guys, we have to rush Robin to the hospital because, somehow, she swallowed her vocal cords and they got lodged in her rectum, because she's talking out of her ass.
Quote from Ted
Marshall: If Joel can use ringers, then so can we. And Nick is our best player, so as far as I'm concerned, you can both keep your groins on ice.
Ted: Groins on Ice. Least popular Madison Square Garden holiday show ever.