Barney Quote #1753
Quote from Barney in Splitsville
Robin: Look, he doesn't love me. He's just saying this because he thinks that...
Barney: I love everything about her. And I'm not a guy who says that lightly. I'm a guy who has faked love his entire life. I thought love was just something idiots thought they felt. But this woman has a hold on my heart
that I could not break if I wanted to. And there have been times that I wanted to. It has been overwhelming and humbling, and even painful at times. But I could not stop loving her any more than I could stop breathing. I am hopelessly, irretrievably in love with her. More than she knows.
Nick: Robin, is this true?
Robin: You heard him.
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘Splitsville’ Quotes
Quote from Ted
Ted: Wow. Crazy, right?
Lily: Yeah. You know what'd be really crazy? If all of 'em got it on. Barney, Robin, Nick and those two women. And you just know Nadia's watching in the corner with her pet snake.
Ted: Okay, why aren't you two having sex?
Lily: What?
Marshall: Excuse me?
Ted: Lily has been slobbering over Robin's sex life like a cartoon hobo watching a pie cool on a windowsill. And you, the only other time you've ever exercised this seriously was when Lily had mono freshman year and I caught you doing one-armed push-ups with your genitals over a bowl of ice. So when did you stop doing it and why?
Quote from Marshall
Robin: Nick and I haven't had sex in three days. And it's your fault. Nick won't have sex because he pulled his groin muscle all 'cause you made him join your stupid basketball team.
Marshall: Did you say "stupid basketball team"?
Robin: Yeah.
Marshall: Oh, my gosh. Guys, we have to rush Robin to the hospital because, somehow, she swallowed her vocal cords and they got lodged in her rectum, because she's talking out of her ass.
Quote from Ted
Marshall: If Joel can use ringers, then so can we. And Nick is our best player, so as far as I'm concerned, you can both keep your groins on ice.
Ted: Groins on Ice. Least popular Madison Square Garden holiday show ever.