Barney Quote #1718
Barney: Bangtoberfest is a flop. I can't think of an innovative way to bang chicks that properly honors my return to the game. Sure, I've tried some old reliables.
[flashback to Barney in MacLaren's dressed as a police officer:]
Barney: Ten unpaid parking tickets. I suppose there is one way I could... get you off. No. I've used that admittedly awesome line a thousand times. You're better than this, Barney.
[flashback to Barney dressed as a judge in MacLaren's:]
Barney: Well, the evidence is pretty incriminating... but I suppose there is one way I could get you off. Damn it!
Quote from Barney
Barney: Look, I'd offer you guys coffee but I have another nanny interview in about 15 minutes, so-
Marshall: Barney, quick question. Why are you interviewing nannies?
Barney: Glad you asked. You guys were all pressuring me to think of a revolutionary new way to get chicks for Bangtoberfest. And frankly, I was stumped, until...
Lily: So far, everyone we can afford on this Web site, HeyNannyNanny.com is Scary Poppins.
Barney: [v.o.] And there it was. The Big Bro in the sky had answered my prayers. Almighty five. Ow.
Barney: I'd introduce you to little baby Edgar, but one, he's napping, and two, he doesn't exist.
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Future Ted: [v.o.] That night, Lily and Marshall called Julie hoping she'd accept the job.
Julie Jorgensen: I'm so sorry. I can't.
Marshall: Don't tell us you took the other job.
Julie Jorgensen: No, I didn't. I'm not taking any nanny job.
Lily: I don't understand.
Julie Jorgensen: The most amazing thing happened at my next interview after you guys. I fell in love with a single dad who turns out to be a billionaire. Tomorrow we're heading off to Paris in his private jet. It's gonna be, as he would say, legend-Wait for it.
[cut to Lily and Marshall going to Barney's place:]
Lily & Marshall: Barney!
Barney: Ixnay on the eal-ray ame-nay.
Julie Jorgensen: Mr. and Mrs. Eriksen?
Lily: You son of a... itch-bay!
Quote from Marshall
Future Ted: [v.o.] Finally they met Julie Jorgensen.
Marshall: You're from St. Cloud, Minnesota? I'm from St. Cloud.
Julie Jorgensen: Really? Oh, you must know my dad. George Jorgensen?
Marshall: Of course. George Jorgensen's Organs.
Julie Jorgensen: Oh, last year my brother joined the business.
Marshall: Really. Who knew that Morgan Jorgensen would go into organs?
Lily: Anyway, Julie...
Marshall: Is it still called George Jorgensen's Organs or did they change it to George Jorgensen and Son Organs?
Julie Jorgensen: They changed it to George and Morgan Jorgensen's Organs. Guess whose idea that was.
Julie Jorgensen: They just opened a new shop out of state.
Marshall: Oh, yeah? Where?
Julie Jorgensen: Oregon.
Marshall: What's that one called?
Julie Jorgensen: Piano Town.