Barney Quote #1700
Quote from Barney in The Pre-Nup
Future Ted: [v.o.] It all started when Barney got a little friendly advice from a coworker.
Arthur: Get a prenup, or I'll neuter you before she ever has a chance!
Barney: First of all, if you have an onion bagel, you don't need scallion cream cheese. [gagging] Secondly, Quinn is a great girl. I trust her.
Arthur: Oh, Darlene was a great girl. I trusted her. And then she took everything! My house, my car... my dog Tugboat. I even lost out with the kids. Full custody! I got full custody of those kids!
Barney: Your kids are horrible.
Arthur: The worst. Barney, I watched as Darlene cut everything good out of my life like a deranged surgeon hacking out organs, and that's not a metaphor. She got one of my kidneys. [musical horror sting] That's her ringtone. I have nothing left to give you, Darlene!
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘The Pre-Nup’ Quotes
Quote from Barney
Barney: Actually, I'm okay. I found out I'll never trust someone enough to get married, and that's fine. My single life is, and always will be, legen... wait for it...
[a little ways down the road:]
Barney: dary! My wedding is gonna be legendary.
Arthur: So, prenup?
Barney: Not this time.
Robin: [enters] Oh, hey you. Ready for lunch?
Barney: Totally. [Barney and Robin kiss]
Quote from Barney
Ted: Wait. Is this prenup in any way legit? I mean, so far, it sounds a lot like that bar napkin document you make one-night stands sign, promising not to get clingy.
Barney: The Pre-Shtup, patent pending. God, I come up with a lot of good stuff!
Quote from Barney
Barney: Just go ahead and sign. It's all pretty standard.
Quinn: "In the event of divorce, "Mr. Stinson is granted weekly visitation rights to Ann, Sarah and Molly." You named our future kids? That's actually pretty sweet.
Arthur: Those are Mr. Stinson's names for your lady parts.
Barney: It's important for the girls to maintain a relationship with their daddy. [high-fives Arthur]