Marshall Quote #949

Quote from Marshall in The Broath

Robin: We got off topic? What about Marshall?
Marshall: Hey, I was just going along with whoever suggested we play that game.
Marshall: Hey, let's play a game! Uh, craziest sex-in-public story; I'll start. I was once with this chick who loved to get freaky in elevators. Doors would close; Suddenly, she's panting on all fours like a dog in heat.
Lily: Marshall, stop.
Marshall: I never said that it was you. Okay, so anyway, last August, I go bareback with this same slut. She get's pregnant. Bitch is even hornier.
Lily: Oh, yeah? I was once with this dude who I caught eating a sandwich during sex. Big ol' meatball falls out, lands on my back, rolls on to the elevator floor. Hmm. Disgusting, right? What, I never said it was you.


 ‘The Broath’ Quotes

Quote from Marshall

Lily: Quinn totally duped Barney, and he couldn't even see it.
Ted: Well, apparently, the sex is mind-blowing.
Marshall: Ha, I've been there. Yeah. I was once with this chick who answered the door wearing nothing but, uh, whipped cream, a dog collar and a hot pink thong.
Lily: Marshall, you can't tell sex stories about "this chick," because everyone knows it's me. I'm the only woman
you've ever been with.
Marshall: It's not fair, the guys are always telling their sex stories and I can top every one of them. Baby, you're like 20 slutty chicks all rolled into one.
Lily: Sweet talk is not going to change my mind.

Quote from Robin

Future Ted: [v.o.] And Robin was staying with her coworker, Patrice.
Patrice: You seem so down today, Robin. I made you cookies.
Robin: Damn it, Patrice, stop smothering me!

Quote from Barney

Barney: I don't understand. Wh... Wait a sec. Ted Evelyn Mosby, you broke The Broath.
Ted: Howdare you?! A Broath is the most sacred bond between... Okay, yeah, I did.
Barney: Are you aware that breaking a Broath can have deadly, even fatal repercussions? Have you studied history, Ted?
Ted: Extensively. But I'm a little shaky on fake history, so...
Barney: The tragic cost of a broken Broath dates back to Ancient Bro-man times...
[historical flashback:]
Barney: Hey, Bro-tus, you'd tell me if, like, a bunch of dudes were conspiring to assassinate me, right?
Ted: Um, totally, Caesar. Paranoid much?
Barney: Just to be sure, can you swear a Broath to me?
Ted: Sure. I swear.
Barney: Thanks. You've always got my back.
[A team of ninjas arrive and attempt to kill Ceasar, but he manages to overpower them]
Barney: Et tu, Bro-te? [throws a ninja star]
Barney: And then he banged, like, a hundred chicks and invented a salad. True story.