Ted Quote #1091
Quote from Ted in The Drunk Train
Barney: You're so much better without him. If you ask me, Vinnie's a real jerk.
Woman: Hey, don't you dare badmouth Vinnie! [rips Barney's suit]
Barney: Ow!
[later:]
Woman: So what do you do?
Ted: Well, I teach architecture, and I also...
Woman: Oh, big man with a job. [throws drink in Ted's face] You think you're better than me?
[later:]
Woman: So... where do you live?
Ted: I'm on the Upper West Side.
Woman: Oh, big man. Living in Manhattan. [throws drink in Ted's face] What, you think you're better than me?
[later:]
Man: Ehhh! [a woman kisses him]
Ted: Ehhhh!
Woman: You think you're better than me?! [throws drink in Ted's face]
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘The Drunk Train’ Quotes
Quote from Barney
Ted: What the hell happened on that train? It was absolute chaos.
Barney: Ted, when I was at M.I.T., my favorite Einstein quote was: "God doesn't play dice with the universe."
Ted: You didn't go to M.I.T.
Barney: I didn't?
Ted: Huh. I actually have no idea where you went to college. Who are you?
Quote from Ted
Barney: I was all, "Do I look like I'm from Ronkonkoma?!"
All: Oh...!
Barney: That's all you gotta say!
Ted: Oh, oh, oh, big man with a briefcase! What do you think, you're better than me?!
Quote from Barney
Future Ted: [v.o.] That night, Barney and I found ourselves in a strange, new universe called... The Drunk Train.
Barney: Where has this heavenly vehicle been all my life? Can you hear its inspiring chant, Ted? I think I can get laid, I think I can get laid. It's-it's The Little Engine with Wood, The Whore-ient Express. The Long Island Tail Road!
Ted: Oh, I got one. Thomas the Spank Engine!
Barney: Ted, that is a children's book.