Barney Quote #1562

Quote from Barney in Symphony of Illumination

Barney: Okay, one scotch for me, one iced tea on the rocks glass for Mommy.
Robin: Stop it.
Barney: Sorry, sorry. Keeping it secret. Oop, I think I gave you the wrong one. Here, let me just... Give it to me. Drop... let go. Take it away from you.

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 ‘Symphony of Illumination’ Quotes

Quote from Robin

Lily: Are you okay?
Robin: Yeah, yeah, um, I guess this, um, this pole-vaulting thing is finally hitting me.
Lily: I don't get it, Robin. Did you really want to be a pole-vaulter?
Robin: No, no, I was, uh, I was always adamantly against having a, uh, a pole-vaulting career, even though it's
what most women want.
Lily: Most women want to be a pole-vaulter?
Robin: In Canada. It's very big up there. You know, it's, it's meet a nice guy, get married, vault some poles, but I... never wanted that. Of course, it's one thing not to want something. It's another to be told you can't have it. I guess it's, it's just nice knowing that you could someday do it if you changed your mind. But now, all of a sudden, that door is closed.
Lily: What about the one where you ski and shoot at the same time? That seems like something you'd be good at.

Quote from Future Ted

Future Ted: [v.o.] Kids, your Aunt Robin never became a pole-vaulter, but she did become a famous journalist, a successful businesswoman, a world traveler. She was even briefly a bullfighter. That's a funny story, I'll get to that one later. But there's one thing your Aunt Robin never was. She was never alone.

 Barney Stinson Quotes

Quote from How I Met Everyone Else

Barney: There's no way she's above the line on the hot-crazy scale.
Ted: She's not even on the hot-crazy scale. She's just hot.
Robin: Wait, hot-crazy scale?
Barney: Let me illustrate. A girl is allowed to be crazy, as long as she is equally hot. Thus, if she's this crazy, she has to be this hot. If she's this crazy, she has to be this hot. You want the girl to be above this line, also known as the Vicky Mendoza diagonal. This girl I dated, she played jump rope with that line. She'd shave her head, then lose ten pounds. She'd stab me with a fork, then get a boob job. I should give her a call.

Quote from The Three Days Rule

Ted: Barney, the three days rule is insane. I mean, who even came up with that?
Barney: Jesus.
Marshall: Barney, don't do this. Not with Jesus.
Barney: Seriously. Jesus started the whole wait 3 days thing. He waited 3 days to come back to life. It was perfect. If he have only waited one day, a lot of people wouldn't have even heard that he died. They'd be all, "Jesus, what up?" And Jesus would probably be, like, "What up? I died yesterday". And then they'd be all, "Uh, you look pretty alive to me, dude". And then he would have to explain how he was resurrected and how it was a miracle. And then, the dude would be, like, "Okay, whatever you say, bro".
Robin: Wow, ancient dialogue sounds so stilted now.
Barney: And he's not going to come back on a Saturday. Everybody's busy doing chores. Working the loom, trimming their beards. No. He waits the exact right number of days... Three.
Ted: OK, I promise, I'll wait three days. Just please stop talking.
Barney: Plus, it's Sunday, so everyone's in church already. They're all in there, "Oh, no, Jesus is dead". Then, bam! He bursts through the back door, runs up the aisle. Everyone's totally psyched. And, FYI, that's when he invented the high-five. Three days, Ted. We wait three days to call a woman because that's how long Jesus wants us to wait. True story.