Marshall: Oh, no. I think that sandwich was laced with other stuff. Like, hard meats.
Ted: What do you mean?
Marshall: Well, usually after a sandwich, I feel paranoid. But I'm not. [grabs Ted] Why am I not feeling paranoid?!

Future Ted: [v.o.] Kids, Einstein was right. Time moves at different speeds. To Barney, the previous night raced by in a blur. But then, all of a sudden, time stopped.
Robin: This might be the worst thing I've ever done.
Barney: Hey, now, you weren't at the top of your game, but it was still pretty...
Robin: Oh, my God! I just cheated on Kevin. He is the nicest guy ever. I'm a terrible person.
Barney: It's okay. We both cheated. What's that saying about two wrongs making a right?
Robin: "Two wrongs don't make a right"?
Barney: No, that's not it.

Robin: Beautiful night, huh, gang?
Barney: Yeah, Robin and I were just cheating- chatting about how warm it is. I'm breaking a trust- sweat in here. And I thought we'd be cuckold.