Marshall: Oh, no. I think that sandwich was laced with other stuff. Like, hard meats.
Ted: What do you mean?
Marshall: Well, usually after a sandwich, I feel paranoid. But I'm not. [grabs Ted] Why am I not feeling paranoid?!

Future Ted: [v.o.] Kids, Einstein was right. Time moves at different speeds. To Barney, the previous night raced by in a blur. But then, all of a sudden, time stopped.
Robin: This might be the worst thing I've ever done.
Barney: Hey, now, you weren't at the top of your game, but it was still pretty...
Robin: Oh, my God! I just cheated on Kevin. He is the nicest guy ever. I'm a terrible person.
Barney: It's okay. We both cheated. What's that saying about two wrongs making a right?
Robin: "Two wrongs don't make a right"?
Barney: No, that's not it.

Future Ted: [v.o.] To this day, Robin and Barney swear this is the song they danced to that night.
Singer: [singing] You fooled around on your baby Now the least you could do is to tell her the truth Yes, you in the suit Or that secret will eat up your soul Girl, the guilt's gonna drive you crazy Crazy You can't live with this lie, Kevin's such a nice guy Gotta tell him tonight Tell them right here on this boat You're like scum round the edge of a toilet bowl Flush What the hell is in the place where you should have a soul? Slut You did these two wrong Don't wait too long In fact, you know what? Tell them right during this song Tell ', tell 'em, tell 'em, tell 'em, tell 'em I'll wait. Tell 'em, tell 'em, tell 'em, tell 'em, tell 'em Oh, come on, seriously, you're not gonna tell them?
[later:]
Barney: We have to tell them.
Robin: Right now.
Singer: Sure, act like it was your idea. Seriously, you guys suck.