Barney Quote #1506

Quote from Barney in Mystery Vs. History

Lily: When you worked late Wednesday, I... I got lonely and... I watched Survivor without you.
Marshall: [gasps]
[title: survivor guilt]
Kevin: Practically the only unhealthy behavior I didn't see from you people was physical violence.
[flashback reel of the gang injuring each other]
Lily: Yeah. At least we don't do that.
Kevin: And to top it off, all the meddling in Ted's love life, not to mention Lily's pregnancy? It all strikes me as
just deeply dysfunctional.
Barney: So what you're saying is, we're fine?
[title card: denial]

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 ‘Mystery Vs. History’ Quotes

Quote from Ted

Future Ted: [v.o.] By the fall of 2011, technology had taken a lot of the intrigue out of life. The Internet had everyone's wall of information. Nothing was a mystery anymore. But, kids, there was a time before that, way back in the dark ages.
[the gang at MacLaren's in 2005:]
Ted: Are you people insane?! The most popular food in America is the cheeseburger!
Lily: No way! It's pizza!
Marshall: Are we forgetting about a certain Mr. Furter, first name Frank?
Robin: Um, what did every kid bring in their lunchbox every day till grade eight? Pancakes with maple syrup.
Barney: Thanks, Canada. We're looking for a food the average American eats. Oh! Chinese food.
Future Ted: [v.o.] And then came the smartphone.
[the gang at MacLaren's in 2011, everyone staring at their phone:]
Robin: Hey, remember when we were arguing about the most popular food? It's bread.
All: Hmm.
Future Ted: [v.o.] And the barroom debate was dead.

Quote from Robin

Robin: Sweet mother of God! A dog in Ottawa ran all the way to Saskatoon! What? We figured out the Janet thing. I'm catching up on Canada.

Quote from Marshall

Barney: You guys have to see this.
Lily: No. We're with Ted on this. We don't want to find out about Janet, just like we don't want to find out about the baby.
Marshall: Because we like mystery, whether it's the hairy majesty of Bigfoot, or the bloodsucking ferocity of the Chupacabra, or the gender of our little miracle.
Lily: Thanks for putting those together in the same sentence, sweetie.