Ted Quote #1014
Quote from Ted in The Stinson Missile Crisis
Ted: I feel terrible we didn't listen to what Lily wanted!
Marshall: I know, so do I.
Ted: The truth is, I thought I'd be married by now and going through all this stuff alongside you guys. But even if I meet the girl of my dreams right this second, I'm still one night and nine months away from having a family of my own. And that's assuming the mother of my children is just a huge slut.
Marshall: Don't lose hope, Ted. That slut is out there.
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘The Stinson Missile Crisis’ Quotes
Quote from Barney
Robin: [v.o.] So Barney and I were finishing packing his apartment...
[flashback to Robin and Barney in his apartment:]
Robin: Okay. One last item on the checklist. Disconnect the Cold Call 5000.
Barney: [chuckles]
Robin: What the hell's that?
Barney: I was able to secure the customer database from a company that sells body glitter and high-end pasties. The Cold Call 5000 will dial every female client between the ages of 22 and 23, and leave the following message: "Hi, I know this is crazy, but I saw you on the subway, and I knew we were meant to be. If you believe in destiny, come to MacLaren's tonight and find me, Barney Stinson. Because I have this feeling that I'm supposed to be on you- with you."
Robin: Why not re-record it?
Barney: I did like a hundred takes. It kept happening.
Quote from Barney
Barney: That scam was so successful, it spawned a related enterprise.
[video:]
Barney: If you've been fooled by a well-endowed man who claimed to be a doctor offering free breast-reduction consultations, come see me, Arnie Linson, attorney-at-law, and join my class-action suit. If your giant breasts have been wronged, I can handle them... it.
Quote from Lily
Lily: The wine looks good.
Ted: Hey, hey, hey, hey, pregnant women can't drink alcohol.
Lily: No, my doctor says it's okay to have a sip of wine every now and then.
Ted: Really?
Lily: Dr. Sonya's great. Whenever you ask her if you can have something, she's, like...
[flashback to Marshall and Lily at the doctor's office:]
Dr. Sonya: Just a little bit.
[present:]
Ted: Wait, Dr. Sonya doesn't let you have sushi, does she?
[flashback to Marshall and Lily at the doctor's office:]
Dr. Sonya: Just a little bit.
[present:]
Ted: You're allowed to have Cheetos?
[flashback to Marshall and Lily at the doctor's office:]
Dr. Sonya: Cheetos. Ah, just a little bit.