Ted Quote #1013

Quote from Ted in The Stinson Missile Crisis

Ted: Oh, hi. I cropped that Halloween photo. It's just salt and pepper, now, so it looks ridiculous.
Marshall: Ted, I want you back on Team Baby.
Lily: What?
Ted: I knew you'd come around! Guys! I didn't really crop the photo! Plus, good news. I signed us up for a birthing class.

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 ‘The Stinson Missile Crisis’ Quotes

Quote from Barney

Robin: [v.o.] So Barney and I were finishing packing his apartment...
[flashback to Robin and Barney in his apartment:]
Robin: Okay. One last item on the checklist. Disconnect the Cold Call 5000.
Barney: [chuckles]
Robin: What the hell's that?
Barney: I was able to secure the customer database from a company that sells body glitter and high-end pasties. The Cold Call 5000 will dial every female client between the ages of 22 and 23, and leave the following message: "Hi, I know this is crazy, but I saw you on the subway, and I knew we were meant to be. If you believe in destiny, come to MacLaren's tonight and find me, Barney Stinson. Because I have this feeling that I'm supposed to be on you- with you."
Robin: Why not re-record it?
Barney: I did like a hundred takes. It kept happening.

Quote from Barney

Barney: That scam was so successful, it spawned a related enterprise.
[video:]
Barney: If you've been fooled by a well-endowed man who claimed to be a doctor offering free breast-reduction consultations, come see me, Arnie Linson, attorney-at-law, and join my class-action suit. If your giant breasts have been wronged, I can handle them... it.

Quote from Lily

Lily: The wine looks good.
Ted: Hey, hey, hey, hey, pregnant women can't drink alcohol.
Lily: No, my doctor says it's okay to have a sip of wine every now and then.
Ted: Really?
Lily: Dr. Sonya's great. Whenever you ask her if you can have something, she's, like...
[flashback to Marshall and Lily at the doctor's office:]
Dr. Sonya: Just a little bit.
[present:]
Ted: Wait, Dr. Sonya doesn't let you have sushi, does she?
[flashback to Marshall and Lily at the doctor's office:]
Dr. Sonya: Just a little bit.
[present:]
Ted: You're allowed to have Cheetos?
[flashback to Marshall and Lily at the doctor's office:]
Dr. Sonya: Cheetos. Ah, just a little bit.