Barney Quote #1487

Quote from Barney in The Stinson Missile Crisis

Barney: That scam was so successful, it spawned a related enterprise.
Barney: If you've been fooled by a well-endowed man who claimed to be a doctor offering free breast-reduction consultations, come see me, Arnie Linson, attorney-at-law, and join my class-action suit. If your giant breasts have been wronged, I can handle them... it.


 ‘The Stinson Missile Crisis’ Quotes

Quote from Barney

Robin: [v.o.] So Barney and I were finishing packing his apartment...
[flashback to Robin and Barney in his apartment:]
Robin: Okay. One last item on the checklist. Disconnect the Cold Call 5000.
Barney: [chuckles]
Robin: What the hell's that?
Barney: I was able to secure the customer database from a company that sells body glitter and high-end pasties. The Cold Call 5000 will dial every female client between the ages of 22 and 23, and leave the following message: "Hi, I know this is crazy, but I saw you on the subway, and I knew we were meant to be. If you believe in destiny, come to MacLaren's tonight and find me, Barney Stinson. Because I have this feeling that I'm supposed to be on you- with you."
Robin: Why not re-record it?
Barney: I did like a hundred takes. It kept happening.

Quote from Barney

Lily: I can't believe you're still running plays on dumb blondes! I thought you were serious about Nora!
Barney: No, I've been good, I swear! I just forgot about my BDSes.
Robin: BDSes?
Barney: Bimbo Delivery Systems. You see, over the years, I've launched a variety of elaborate systems that are
always working to get me laid. Like my pop-up ads.
[video on computer:]
Barney: Oh, hi. I'm Dr. Barney Stinson. Are your really large breasts making everyday tasks difficult?
Woman: Oh! There's just got to be a better way!
Barney: There is! I, Dr. Barney Stinson, for a limited time only, can give you a free breast-reduction consultation. Call me. If your knockers are just too damn big, I can handle them... it.

Quote from Lily

Lily: The wine looks good.
Ted: Hey, hey, hey, hey, pregnant women can't drink alcohol.
Lily: No, my doctor says it's okay to have a sip of wine every now and then.
Ted: Really?
Lily: Dr. Sonya's great. Whenever you ask her if you can have something, she's, like...
[flashback to Marshall and Lily at the doctor's office:]
Dr. Sonya: Just a little bit.
Ted: Wait, Dr. Sonya doesn't let you have sushi, does she?
[flashback to Marshall and Lily at the doctor's office:]
Dr. Sonya: Just a little bit.
Ted: You're allowed to have Cheetos?
[flashback to Marshall and Lily at the doctor's office:]
Dr. Sonya: Cheetos. Ah, just a little bit.