Zoey: Ted! Ted! What is that?
Ted: Oh, my God! It's the cock-a-mouse!
Zoey: The what?
Ted: Cock-a-mouse. Part cockroach, part mouse. It used to live in our apartment. It must've settled here. And, oh, look! It had babies. Good for it!
Zoey: Ew. I give up. You win. Let's go.
Ted: Be well, my friends!

Ben: I'm sorry. I don't think you're the kind of person we're looking for. I just got off the phone with Arthur Hobbs over at GNB.
[flashback to Arthur on the phone:]
Arthur: Oh, yeah. I worked with Marshall Eriksen. At least I did when he actually showed up.
[fantasy scene of a tattooed Marshall wearing sunglasses and a sleeveless suit jacket:]
Arthur: Marshall! Hey, it's... it's 2:30. If it's no big deal, we'd sure love it if you tried to get here at least before lunch.
Marshall: Yeah? And I'd sure love to give a rat's ass.
[fantasy:]
Woman: Oh! Mr. Eriksen, you're not wearing any pants.
Marshall: Your move. [throws a plastic bottle in the bin]
Arthur: But, Marshall, what about the environment?
Marshall: Screw the environment!
[back to the phone call:]
Ben: "Screw the environment"?
Arthur: Oh, yeah. We fired him when we caught him clubbing a seal in his office with an even cuter seal. Guy's a maniac. He's just an awful, flatulent racist.

Barney: Invitations for the demolition of the Arcadian. As head of the project, I get to decide how we knock it down. I'm torn between training an actual coyote to use an Acme dynamite plunger or hooking up a fuse to Eddie Van Halen's guitar that goes off the second he hits the last note to "Hot For Teacher."