The Captain Quote #11
Quote from The Captain in Garbage Island
Ted: You think Zoey's sleeping with the doorman?
The Captain: He always winks and tips his hat when he sees her. I know how these things work. He holds her package, and pretty soon, she's holding his. And then there's his glorious mustache. I will have him fired for this!
Ted: No, no, no, you can't fire him.
The Captain: You're right. Maritime protocol demands physical retribution!
Ted: Oh, my God! No, no! No physical retribution! Stop!
The Captain: Who is this flower child, and what has he done with my lionhearted friend Ted Mosby?!
Ted: Look, look, yes, yes, the doorman is a scoundrel. The mustache alone gives that away. He's a rake, a rogue, a rapscallion!
The Captain: Whoa, "rapscallion" may be going a bit far, Ted.
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘Garbage Island’ Quotes
Quote from Barney
Robin: You really are smitten.
Barney: No, I'm not. I'm Barney Stinson. I don't get smitten, I smite!
Robin: You are totally smitten, but you're scared of being in a relationship.
Barney: No, I'm not. I can't be anyone's boyfriend, Robin. If I got serious with Nora, it would be like if Mother Teresa focused all her attention on one really hot orphan. With great penis comes great responsibility.
Quote from Robin
Marshall: Garbage Island. You haven't heard of Garbage Island? It's an island... made of garbage! It's in the Pacific Ocean. It's twice the size of Texas!
Robin: In other words, one-eighth the size of Canada. So...
Quote from Barney
Lily: No, it's more than that. It's like, all the stuff he used to love, he suddenly has no interest in anymore.
Barney: Oh. Ha-wink.
Lily: Excuse me?
Barney: Lily, in my travels, I've developed a finely calibrated sense of how long it's been since... How do I not put this delicately? A girl's been porked. And, boo, you've been pork-free so long, you're practically kosher.
Lily: It's been a while.
Barney: Five weeks, three days by my estimation.
Lily: You should work at a carnival.
Barney: I tried. They're pretty strict with backgrounds.