Barney Quote #1359

Quote from Barney in Desperation Day

Barney: All right, okay. I was playing you before. But I was really doing you a public service. It's February 13, a day many are now calling Desperation Day. It's kind of a thing. And you walking around, saying you're a gooey romantic? It comes across a bit desperate.
Nora: [scoffs] What's desperate about knowing what you want? Look, life is really short, Barney. Who wants to spend Valentine's Day alone, distracting yourself from the fact that nobody loves you with some sad little activity?
Barney: Um, or you could be in the 47th Semi-Annual Laser Tag Tournament in Poughkeepsie.
Nora: I have no idea what any of those words mean.
Woman: [to Barney] Hey, I'm all stretched out!
Barney: [to Nora] Here's the first thing you need to know about laser tag.

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 ‘Desperation Day’ Quotes

Quote from Lily

Lily: I decided to go to Minnesota to see Marshall. He shouldn't have to help his mom through this rough time all by himself.
Barney: You losing your mind, being alone in your apartment?
Lily: I'm getting weird! [v.o.] See, it started off with me throwing Marshall's jersey on my body pillow. And, well, things kind of spiraled from there.
[flashback to Lily sitting down for dinner with a pillow wearing Marshall's suit:]
Lily: I'm sorry I yelled like that before.
[present:]
Lily: I call him "Marshpillow." And he calls me... nothing because he's a pillow.

Quote from Lily

Ted: You think that's what she means by "baking cookies"?
Lily: Are you kidding? You're in the kitchen, it's getting hot, you start licking stuff off each others' fingers. Before you know it, she's bent over the marble island, and you're spanking her with a rubber spatula. And she's screaming, "Stop, Marshall, stop," but that's just code for "harder!"
Ted: Marshall's been in Minnesota a while.
Lily: So long!

Quote from Marshall

Marshall: I miss my dad, Ted. I miss him so much.
Ted: I know.
Marshall: Um, when I was a kid, we would spend the summers in the Upper Peninsula. And every year, we wouldn't get to the cabin till, like, the middle of the night. And so, it would be pitch black, in the middle of the woods. And I could never see anything in front of the headlights, but I always felt so safe 'cause my dad was driving. He was like some sort of superhero who could just see way out into the darkness. Now he's just gone. And it's pitch black. And I can't see where I'm going. I can't see anything.