Robin Quote #565
Quote from Robin in Last Words
Future Ted: [v.o.] Kids, when your best friend loses someone, you drop everything and rush to his side. Only to find yourself standing there with no idea what to do or say.
Ted: This is the toughest time in Marshall's life and I feel absolutely useless. What can we do to help?
Lily: Don't look at me. This morning Marshall said, "I have to pee". And I, "Don't worry, baby, I'll do it for you". Halfway through the pee, I'm, like, "This doesn't even make sense!"
Robin: Well, uh, I've been to a couple funerals, so I know my role: I'm Vice Girl. Whatever Marshall needs to get through this day, I got it right here. [opens purse]
Ted: Whoa! Cigarettes, alcohol... Are these firecrackers? My God, Robin, you somehow crammed Tijuana into a purse.
Robin: Be cool, nerds!
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘Last Words’ Quotes
Quote from Lily
Marshall: Lily?
[flashback to Lily in their apartment, rushing to the phone with her hands full with grocery bags:]
Lily: [answers] Hello.
Mickey: [o.s.] Lily, it's Dad. Listen, I'm sort of in jail for not paying taxes for the last 25 years But bright side... I thought of a great new board game. "Tax Evasion"... ages six to ten. Which is, ironically, what I might be looking at. Anyway, Pumpkin, I need $15,000.
Lily: Fooled ya. Leave a message after the beep. We'll get back to ya. Beep.
[present:]
[Lily drinks from the flask]
Marshall: Lawyered.
Quote from Marshall
Lily: Hey, so it's a pocket dial. You have so many great memories with your dad. Who cares about the last one?
Ted: She's right.
Barney: Your dad was hilarious.
Marshall: You guys don't get it, okay? None of you do. My dad was my hero. And he was my teacher. And he was my best friend. He always came through for me. And now he's just gone. And what am I left with? [plays message] Thanks a lot, God! Thank you! You took my father... the greatest man that I have ever known... and you ripped him off this Earth, way too young! And he'll never get to meet our kids, Lily. But we got this voice mail. Thank you so much for the voice mail! It's a great comfort! 'Cause whenever I'm starting to feel lonely or sad, or... or you know what, or maybe a little bit cheated, at least I got the sound of his pocket to console me.
Lily: Marshall.
Marshall: How is this fair? You know, like, an entire human life and it just ends for no reason, and... and what are we left with?
Marvin Sr.: [on message] Marshall? Oh, looks like I've been calling you for almost five minutes. How's my pocket sound? Oh, sorry about that, buddy. Um, anyway, your mom and I had such a great time seeing you. I love you.
Lily: Looks like your dad came through one last time.
Quote from Robin
Marshall: Hey, guys, sorry, uh... I left my charger back in New York, so my phone's out of juice. Does anyone have...?
Robin: Outlet or USB?
Marshall: Uh, outlet. Thank you. Oh...
Lily: [to Robin] Wow, you really do have everything in there, don't you?
Ted: You're like Mary Poppins, if her magic purse was also filled with drugs.
Robin: "If"? Ted, the kids in that movie jumped into a painting and spent 15 minutes chasing a cartoon fox. "Spoonful of sugar..."? [scoffs] Grow up.