Barney Quote #1316

Quote from Barney in False Positive

Barney: [inner monologue] Huh. Marshall and Lily are doing something meaningful... and it's making me less happy about this bonus. And I'm still single. At least I got that goin'for me. So why do I still feel outside of awesome looking in? What am I doing with my life?

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 ‘False Positive’ Quotes

Quote from Barney

Future Ted: [v.o.] The next hour got pretty weird.
Barney: Velour tracksuits!
Marshall: Velour is so comfortable.
Lily: These are so soft!
Barney: Remote control helicopters!
Barney: Condoms!
Barney: And last but not least, there is a fleet of limos outside waiting to take us to... a strip club! You get a lap dance! You get a lap dance! You are gonna give me a lap dance! Everybody gets a lap dance!

Quote from Barney

Ted: Uh, has it ever occurred to you to give some of this to charity?
Barney: Charity? You're seriously talking to me about charity, dude? I am Mr. Charity. I frequently sleep with sixes, chubsters, over-30s, I am the Bill and Melinda Gates of the sympathy bang.

Quote from Barney

Barney: Hi there. We've had a lot of fun tonight. But on a more serious note, this is the time of year when we remember the importance of giving. And there's no greater gift than the gift of booty. So this holiday season, why not bang someone in need? I'm Barney Stinson, and that's... one to grow on.
Woman: Um, no.
Barney: Hi there. You know, we've had a lot of fun tonight...