The Captain Quote #4
Quote from The Captain in The Mermaid Theory
The Captain: Vast, the sea. Deep. Endless. Going around for miles. You could scream and scream, and not a soul would hear you. Listen to this. [screams] Help! Somebody help me! I'm trapped on a boat with a madman! Help! See? Nothing. [laughing]
Ted: [inner monologue while laughing] He's gonna kill me. Okay, calm down, Teddy. He's not jealous. He hasn't even mentioned Zoey.
The Captain: So, Ted, I noticed you've been spending a lot of time with Zoey.
Ted: [inner monologue: screams]
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘The Mermaid Theory’ Quotes
Quote from Future Ted
Barney: Lily, I guess that leaves just you and me. Want to hang?
Future Ted: [v.o.] And then Lily said something to Barney that insulted every fiber of his being.
Lily: Nah.
Barney: [gasps]
Future Ted: [v.o.] Wait. No. It had to be more than just, "Nah." Oh, I think she said...
Lily: You're a big... stupid octopus head!
Future Ted: [v.o.] No, that doesn't make sense. Okay, hang on. What did she say? She said, um, uh... To be honest kids, I'm having a little trouble remembering exactly what their fight was about. Hey, it was 20 years ago! I'll remember.
Quote from Marshall
Future Ted: [v.o.] There was just something about him. We couldn't put our finger on it until...
Marshall: I figured it out! I know what's so creepy about The Captain.
Robin: Okay.
Marshall: Yeah, I snapped this photo of him last time he dropped off Zoey. Observe. The bottom half of his face is smiling. Look, he seems happy. Seems like a nice guy. But the top half of his face, wants to murder you! Cheerful. Wants to murder you. Cheerful. Wants to murder you. Now, hold on. Let me ask him a question. Captain, what do you think of ice cream? Oh, he loves it!
Barney: Captain, what do you think of rainy days?
Marshall: Whoa, he hates them.
Robin: Captain, quick question: How do you feel about the Jonas Brothers?
All: Ooh.
Marshall: What-What is that?
Robin: I don't get it. I don't get it.
Marshall: He hates that he loves them.
All: Ah!
Quote from Ted
Ted: Well, Lily, you were right. Something weird happened with Zoey last night.
[flashback to Ted and Zoey at the museum:]
Zoey: Oh, that's the Captain. Yes, I call my husband The Captain, but that is the only concession I make to his seafaring ways. Hang on. [answers phone] Ahoy.