The Captain Quote #2
Quote from The Captain in Natural History
Ted: So, Captain. How'd you get that name, anyway?
The Captain: Gave it to myself. A real man chooses his own name.
Ted: Well, pleased to meet you, Captain. I'm Galactic President Superstar McAwesomeville.
Zoey: This is Ted.
The Captain: Capital. Honey, I may cut out early. I have to go check up on the boat.
Ted: The boat? There's a boat? You must tell me about this boat, Captain.
The Captain: Well, she's an 85-foot sloop.
Ted: She!
The Captain: Do you like boats? Does the sea call to you like it calls to me?
Ted: Yes. The sea is all like, "Ted, come hang out."
The Captain: I like Galactic President Superstar McAwesomeville. You're coming on the boat sometime. Stepping off.
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘Natural History’ Quotes
Quote from Ted
Ted: Guys, guys, guys? Architecture fun fact: If you stand right here, and you whisper, a person all the way across the other end of the room hears it like you're standing right next to them. It's one of the most sophisticated pieces of acoustical design in the world. Watch. [whispering] Diarrhea. Right? Right?
Quote from Future Ted
Ted: I can't believe this. She singles me out by name. Calls me a "fat cat." Me and my "fat-cat friends." We're not fat cats.
Barney: Exactly. I say, Marshall, my good man, how's my bow tie?
Marshall: Impeccable, old bean. To industry!
Barney: Ah, bully!
Future Ted: [v.o.] Okay, that night we weren't the skinniest of felines.
Quote from Barney
Lily: Ooh! I love this exhibit. One time when I was a kid, this room was closed for cleaning, so I snuck under the rope.
All: Ooh.
Barney: Wow, that's pretty cool. When I was a kid, I knocked down the blue whale.
Marshall: Okay, the giant blue whale hanging from the ceiling?
Barney: I was six. My uncle Jerry brought me here for the day. He said, "Don't touch anything." To a kid. That's like someone telling us, "Don't look at that girl's perky and impossibly symmetrical knockers."
Robin: Not bad.
Barney: So, naturally, I snapped the rib off a triceratops, blahbity-blahbity-blue, I knocked down the whale. I'm surprised security didn't stop me on the way in.
Robin: Well, I'm sure they don't remember. I mean, it's been like 30 years since that completely made-up story didn't happen.
Barney: It happened. And these people don't forget. This is not the Natural Stuff That Happened No More Than Five Minutes Ago Museum.