Ted Quote #880
Robin: Let me guess: she acted like a helpless little girl, and you stepped in as the big, strong man.
Ted: I don't know if that's totally true.
[flashback to Ted and Becky in the apartment:]
Ted: It's okay, little darlin'. [stands on spider]
Becky: Poor spider.
Ted: Hey, hey, hey, hey. Spiders gotta die so trees can grow.
[present:]
Ted: Then I held her tight and told her it was all gonna be okay. By the way, I think I only wounded the spider. It crawled off into my bedroom.
Robin: Wait. Is that why you slept on the couch last night?
Ted: [scoffs] Yeah, I slept.
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘Baby Talk’ Quotes
Quote from Barney
Robin: And it's not like the opposite would work. There's no way a guy could pick up a girl, going around talking like a little boy.
Barney: Challenge accepted.
Robin: No.
Barney: I, Barney Stinson, will pick up a girl whilst talking like a little boy.
Quote from Barney
Robin: You know, um, there's something that I wanted to ask you, and I don't really know how to say it so... Here goes. Who's the crazy chick in the apron?
Woman: [baby talk] Someone naughty left his toys on the floor and needs to be spanked on his tushy-tush.
Barney: [baby talk] Uh-oh, I'm in "twubble."
Robin: You did it? How?
Barney: Last night, after admitting defeat, I just let myself go.
[flashback to Barney eating ice cream at MacLaren's:]
Woman: Ooh, that looks so good. Can I have some?
Barney: No! It's my ice cream! You can't have any!
Woman: Someone needs to teach you how to share. Who's your mommy?
[present:]
Barney: Challenge completed! Now, uh, can you get this freak out of here? I'm really scared.
Quote from Marshall
Marshall: Okay! I made a list of awesome baby names. Starting at the top: number one...
Ted: I'm gonna stop you right here, Marshall. You name a chubby white kid "LeBron," and he's the one getting stuffed in the basketball hoop.
Marshall: Then I'm also crossing off, um, "Shaquille", "Hakeem," and "Dikembe."