Barney Quote #1228
Quote from Barney in Cleaning House
Barney: Oh, my God. Look at this. My letter from the postmaster general. I still can't believe he took the time to write this.
[flashback to young Barney reading a letter:]
Young Barney: "Dear Barney"...
Postmaster General: "I sincerely apologize about losing all the invitations you sent out to your eighth birthday party. That's why none of your classmates showed up. Not because you threw up when they turned the lights off at the planetarium. Ah, no one even noticed that. Also, Janey Masterson's mother is a whore and, with gin on her breath at 10:00 in the morning she's got some nerve kicking us out of the carpool. Love, Postmaster General."
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘Cleaning House’ Quotes
Quote from Loretta
Loretta: Okay, everyone, lunch is ready. Who wants sloppy joes?
James: Mom, who's Sam Gibbs?
Loretta: [squeals] That doesn't sound familiar. Who wants sloppy joes?
James: There's a picture of me and Barney in an envelope addressed to him. And you wrote "Your son" on the back.
Loretta: Oh, no, that... It says "Yourson." For Yourson, North Dakota. That's where we took the picture. Lovely town. We went kayaking, and you two rescued the mayor's dog, which had wandered into the rapids. Then Mayor Sam Gibbs asked for your pictures so the city could make statues of you both. I guess I never sent it. That's embarrassing. Now, how about those sloppy joes?
James: If this picture was taken in North Dakota, then why is our old swing set in the background?
Loretta: [shouts] I don't know! I did my best as a single parent and it wasn't always easy. And I'd recommend putting the coleslaw right on top of the sloppy joe. Because it's delicious. That's why!
Quote from James
Marshall: Does your mom make stuff like that up a lot?
James: Constantly. I mean, she put more effort into some lies than others.
[flashback to young Barney watching TV:]
Young Barney: Mom, who's my dad? All the other kids at school know who their dad is. Who's mine?
Loretta: I don't know. That guy.
[present:]
Robin: Did she tell you that Bob Barker was your dad too?
James: No, no, no. I heard Flip Wilson, Bill Cosby, James Earl Jones, Meadowlark Lemon. The list goes on. I still can't get a straight answer about who my real dad is. And Barney's no help. He still believes every lie that my mom told us growing up. Not me. I caught on early. [to Lily] Careful! Michael Jackson sent me this glove for my 10th... Damn.
Quote from Barney
Barney: Man, I thought I was a light-skinned Caucasian, but in truth I'm a really light-skinned African-American. Man, try to hail a cab in Manhattan. Am I right? Nope. No one's stoppin' for this. These guys don't understand
what I'm talkin' about.