Ted Quote #819
Robin: Hey, how'd the date with Royce go?
Ted: It was interesting. We went to see that new movie, The Wedding Bride.
Marshall: Oh! How was it? Not that I care. I mean, it's a chick flick. This one will probably drag me to it, like the 7:10 show tomorrow night, or 9:40 because I have that meeting, but I can probably get out of it, so let's try for the 7:10.
Robin: What's that movie about, anyway?
Ted: That's the interesting part.
[flashback to Ted and Royce watching the money:]
Jed Mosley: [on film] Hey, bonehead! I'm Jed Mosley. I'm the most powerful and corrupt architect in New York. I... [screaming] That's gonna leave a mark!
Ted: It's about me.
Quote from Ted
Robin: Why would he write a movie about that? Isn't he the bad guy in that story?
Lily: Yeah, and the good guy is a guy named Ted Mosby.
Ted: Funny, that was my memory of it, too. But, according to the movie...
[flashback to Ted and Royce watching The Wedding Bride:]
Secretary: [over intercom] Mr. Mosley, your fiancee is here.
Jed Mosley: Great. The old ball and chain. I can't wait to make her move out of her beautiful house in New Jersey and come live with me in an apartment above a bar. Send her in. Ah, Stella. To what do I owe the pleasure?
Stella: We're supposed to taste wedding cakes this afternoon, remember?
Jed Mosley: Ouch! No-can-do's-ville, babydoll. [puts feet on desk wearing red cowboy boots, falls out of chair] Whoa!
Quote from Marshall
Robin: See, Marshall, this is what I mean. You can't treat New York City like it's the small, friendly, crime-free, inbred, backwoods, Podunk, cow-tipping Minnesota hickville where you grew up.
Marshall: Crime-free? Crime-free? In 1994, the cashier from the feed store was held up at hoe-point.
Quote from Barney
Barney: Whoa! Ted, please tell me you are not impugning emotional baggage.
Ted: Baggage is a good thing?
Barney: Emotional baggage is the bedrock of America's most important cultural export.
Barney: Actually, it's porn. Only women with major baggage go into porn.
Ted & Robin: [salute] Major baggage.