Ted Quote #828
Quote from Ted in The Wedding Bride
Royce: I was so, so happy when that loser got left at the altar, and you know why? Because he had it coming. And the great part is he is gonna live a long, sad life, knowing that he lost his only chance at happiness. Oh! What about when he got beat up by the goat? [all laugh] So funny. What a loser.
Ted: Totally! I mean, the guy's life was shattered in a very public humiliation. What a hoot! And it may be years before he can look certain family members in the eye again. He may be so emotionally traumatized he never fully loves or trusts anyone ever again. That's hysterical. Move over, Adolf Hitler. There's a new king of comedy.
Royce: Ted, are you okay?
Ted: Yeah. I just think you all might be interested to learn something about that movie y'all love so much. It sucks. And you're all stupid for liking it.
Royce: Wow. That was really mean. I think you owe us an apology.
Ted: No-can-do's-ville, babydoll. No-can-do's-ville.
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘The Wedding Bride’ Quotes
Quote from Ted
Robin: Why would he write a movie about that? Isn't he the bad guy in that story?
Lily: Yeah, and the good guy is a guy named Ted Mosby.
Ted: Funny, that was my memory of it, too. But, according to the movie...
[flashback to Ted and Royce watching The Wedding Bride:]
Secretary: [over intercom] Mr. Mosley, your fiancee is here.
Jed Mosley: Great. The old ball and chain. I can't wait to make her move out of her beautiful house in New Jersey and come live with me in an apartment above a bar. Send her in. Ah, Stella. To what do I owe the pleasure?
Stella: We're supposed to taste wedding cakes this afternoon, remember?
Jed Mosley: Ouch! No-can-do's-ville, babydoll. [puts feet on desk wearing red cowboy boots, falls out of chair] Whoa!
Quote from Marshall
Robin: See, Marshall, this is what I mean. You can't treat New York City like it's the small, friendly, crime-free, inbred, backwoods, Podunk, cow-tipping Minnesota hickville where you grew up.
Marshall: Crime-free? Crime-free? In 1994, the cashier from the feed store was held up at hoe-point.
Quote from Barney
Barney: Whoa! Ted, please tell me you are not impugning emotional baggage.
Ted: Baggage is a good thing?
Barney: Emotional baggage is the bedrock of America's most important cultural export.
All: Porn.
Barney: Actually, it's porn. Only women with major baggage go into porn.
Ted & Robin: [salute] Major baggage.