Future Ted: [v.o.] Kids, I think I told you how earlier that year we had seen some doppelgangers of ourselves around town. There was Lesbian Robin. There was Mustache Marshall. And, of course, Stripper Lily. Well, that night, one more doppelganger surfaced. Mexican Wrestler Ted.

Peter Bogdanovich: Which is exactly what Truffaut was talking about in his 1954 article in Cahiers du cinema. Film is an auteur's medium, full stop.
Marshall: [laughs] Movies. Right? Actors. Willem Dafoe. Funny thing about Willem Dafoe. Uh, his name kind of sounds like a frog talking to a parrot. [in deep voice] Willem. [in high-pitched voice] Dafoe! [deep] Willem. [high] Dafoe! No?

Barney: Fine, you guys can have a baby, but only under these conditions. One, you promise to always love me more than the baby. Two, once a month I get to use the baby to pick up chicks. Three, that may involve the baby falling from a two-story window and me heroically catching it. Four, no breast-feeding in front of me. Five, forget about four. You can whip them out whenever you want.