Barney Quote #1186
Quote from Barney in Twin Beds
Barney: So, what's going on with Robin?
Ted: You were right. She was just mad. It's been four days, she hasn't said another word about moving out. But listen, we can never pull crap like that ever again.
Barney: Agreed. In fact, I even wrote myself another letter. "Dear Future Barney, you think you want Robin back again, but you really don't. Let her go. Sincerely, Past Barney."
Ted: Let me see that.
Barney: Hey, hey, give it to me.
Ted: All right, all right, "P.S. That top part was just for Ted. Did he buy it? Good. Now get back together with Robin. But don't mention your plan to Ted, 'cause he'll just screw it up again." And then there's more drawings of boobs.
Barney: Okay, okay. In my defense, how great are boobs?
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘Twin Beds’ Quotes
Quote from Ted
Ted: Wait, wait, wait, wait, dude, dude, hold on. Do you think I'm gay?
Don: Well, yeah.
Ted: Why would you assume that?
[flashback to Ted arriving in the apartment as Robin and Don sit on the couch:]
Ted: Hey.
Robin: Hey, Ted, your calligraphy teacher called.
Ted: And? And?
Robin: Your ink is in.
Ted: Yes!
[another flashback:]
Ted: Hey, guys, I just wanna make sure Project Runway is recording. Did the Jets get new costumes?
[another flashback:]
Ted: Well, I guess we won't be having creme brulee tonight. My browning torch is broken.
Don: You know, when I heard your roommate was a single guy, I was a little jealous. But now that I know he's gay, I'm okay.
Robin: Oh, Ted's not...
Ted: But we still got homemade lady fingers and piping hot Darjeeling.
Don: Awesome. Thank you. Ted's not what?
Robin: Ted's not gonna be around a lot. He's following Cher on tour.
[present:]
Ted: Okay, don't get me wrong, Cher puts on a hell of a show. But I am not gay.
Quote from Ted
Don: Hey, Lily, be honest. Is it weird that Robin hangs out with one of her exes all the time?
Lily: Well, Ted and Robin broke up years ago. It's a non-issue.
Don: Ted and Robin?
Ted: Not seeming so gay now, am I, Donny?
Carl: Appletini for the gentleman.
Ted: Thank you.
Quote from Ted
Ted: Okay. You're ready.
Barney: Ready for what?
Ted: To read the letter.
Future Ted: [v.o.] Kids, the letter was a device I'd invented to remind myself why I'd broken up with somebody. I'd been doing it for years.
[flashback to Ted writing a letter in 1996:]
Ted: [v.o.] "Dear Future Ted, never get back with Karen because she's a pretentious snob. Oh, also, she cheated on you. I'm sorry you had to find out this way. [chuckles] See, we're already laughing about it."
[flashback to Ted writing a letter in 2005:]
Ted: [v.o.] "Dear Future Ted, stay away from Natalie, or any girl who can pin you to the ground and beat you senseless in front of a cheering crowd. P.S. Please consult a therapist about why that turned you on a little bit. "
[flashback to Ted writing a letter in 2008:]
Ted: [v.o.] "Dear Relationship Genius, Stella left you at the altar. You may never love again and will probably die alone." Huh! It doesn't look so sad written in calligraphy.