Marshall Quote #627

Quote from Marshall in Hooked

Lily: Marshall, I can do this by myself.
Marshall: Okay. Well, then, prove it. And grab me a pudding.
Lily: Listen up, Scooter, there is no way you and I will ever be together. [Scooter stares longingly into Lily's eyes]
Marshall: Right now!
Lily: Marshall!
Marshall: I'm sorry. But he's adorable.
Lily: Listen, I don't want to be with you.
Marshall: Right now. Hang in there, Scoots. I'm not gonna live forever.

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 ‘Hooked’ Quotes

Quote from Barney

Ted: What? It's just a job.
Barney: Just a... Just a... Ah! Ted, throughout time, there has always been one cutting-edge profession to which hot girls, like Tiffany, have flocked. Shall I walk you through the history?
Ted: I'm gonna explicitly say no.
Barney: It all started 2.5 million years ago.
[flashback to a cave-man Barney hitting rocks:]
Barney: [v.o.] Man was a hunter. So the hottest profession of the day? Gatherer.
Barney: Homo erectus, indeed. [winks to camera]
[flashback to an injured Barney in a field hospital:]
Barney: [v.o.] As man mastered technology, the hottest profession of the day evolved.
Barney: I'm pretty sure it's a hernia. Can you check again? [winks to camera]
[flashback to Barney seated in first class on an airplane:]
Barney: [v.o.] And then man took to the skies. And so hot women put on high heels and became stewardesses.
Barney: I am in the upright and locked position. [winks to camera]
[present:]
Barney: And then man said, "Life is hard. I should start taking lots of prescription drugs." And so, hot girls rolled into doctors' offices, looking sexy enough to render the very erection pills they peddled ironically redundant. So, now, pharma girls are today's hottest profession.

Quote from Barney

Diana: Hey, Barney, I want you to meet the newest pharma girl.
Gladys: Gladys Reynolds. Nice to make your acquaintance. I represent statins and other cholesterol-lowering drugs.
Diana: Come on, girl. Let's go get our drink on!
Gladys: Okay.
Barney: It's over.
Robin: What's over?
Barney: Pharma girls are no longer exclusively hot chicks. It's the end of an era.
Robin: You're being a little dramatic.
Barney: Am I? It starts out with a Gladys. Next thing you know, a few not-so-fabulous gay guys enter the ranks. And before you know it, pharma girls look like the crew on a Southwest flight from Albuquerque to Little Rock. It's over. [slams the table]

 Marshall Eriksen Quotes

Quote from The Final Page (Part 2)

Marshall: Oh, I forgot the lullaby. Do you know Marvin's lullaby? We sing it to him every night.
[flashback to Marshall playing guitar and singing to Marvin with Lily adding percussion:]
Marshall: Night, night, little Marvin Stars twinkle for you [Lily plays chimes] The Dreamland train's a-chuggin' [Lily blows train whistle] All your dreams will come true And the horsie says, "Good night" [Lily plays wood scraper block] And the birdie says, "Good night" [Lily blows bird whistle] And the elephant says, "Good night" [Lily plays tuba] And the skeleton playing his own rib cage Says, "Good Night" [Lily plays xylophone] And the robot says, "Good night"
Lily: [uses a voice-changing megaphone] Good night.
Man: [o.s.] Enough with the damn music!
Marshall: [singing] And Mr. Nesbit says, "Good night" And the whole world says, "Good night" Take it, Mommy.
[Lily plays the violin]

Quote from Bagpipes

Barney: Hey, tiger. How you holding up? Do you need a hug? You want to talk about yesterday? Safe space.
Ted: Barney thinks Lily asking you to wash your dishes right away is a sign your marriage is crumbling.
Marshall: What? Why? Lily likes a clean sink, so I do the dishes right away, what's the big deal?
Barney: I'll tell you what the big deal is. You know how I was always the best at being single?
Ted: No.
Barney: Well, now I am the best at relationships. Even better than you and Lily.
Marshall: Aw. Look at you. Had a girlfriend for five minutes, you think you can play with the big boys, adorable. Son, I've been in a relationship since you had a ponytail and were playing Dave Matthews on your mama's Casio. I'm a good boyfriend in my sleep. I can rock a killer foot rub with one hand and brew a kick-ass pot of chamomile in the other that would make you weep. Hell, I've forgotten more about microwaving fat-free popcorn and watching Sandra Bullock movies than you'll ever know, but thanks for your concern, rook.