Barney Quote #1102
Quote from Barney in The Perfect Week
Jim Nantz: Barney, we gotta stop you for a second. There's something I have to ask. Have you ever used performance-enhancing drugs?
Barney: No, sir. I respect the game too much. Although, I can't say I haven't been offered.
[flashback to a Barney with a contented Lily and Marshall in their apartment:]
Marshall: Dude, it was pretty awesome. You should try it. I have some more.
Barney: No, thanks.
Marshall: You sure? All right. Suit yourself. What time is it?
Barney: It's 8:00.
Marshall: 8:00? [counts on fingers, then stands up with a cushion held to his crotch] I need to go to the hospital.
[back:]
Barney: I've never touched the stuff. You can test me if you want to, Nantz.
Jim Nantz: Barney, I trust you. I regret I even asked you the question, okay.
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘The Perfect Week’ Quotes
Quote from Future Ted
Marshall: Here you go, guys, the official hat of Barney's Perfect Week. I was gonna do shirts, but then you have to guess sizes, and feelings get hurt. It's a mess.
Lily: In commemoration of Barney's induction into the Hall of Game, this tie worn on the seventh night of his Perfect Week is hereby retired.
Marshall: May Barney's heroic feat be remembered and spoken of for generations to come.
Ted: I'm totally gonna sit my kids down one day, and tell them about the time Uncle Barney nailed seven chicks in a row. [all laugh]
Future Ted: [v.o.] Am I a bad dad?
Quote from Barney
Future Ted: [v.o.] Kids, we all have different ways of dealing with nerves.
Woman: It'll just be a few more minutes, Mr. Stinson.
Future Ted: Some people chew their nails. Some people tap their feet. And some people imagine they're being
interviewed by renowned sportscaster, Jim Nantz.
Jim Nantz: Hello, friends. Every sport has had an icon who transcends the game. Boxing had Ali, basketball had Jordan, and the sport of sleeping with random hotties has my next guest, Mr. Barney Stinson. Barney, welcome.
Barney: Thanks, Jim. Great to be back on the show.
Jim Nantz: Good to have you with us. And, you know, the stats, they really speak for themselves. Over 200 women, spanning six continents, 17 nationalities, 74 sexual positions, and not a single fatty. Hey ,it's impressive. And with all these accomplishments though, there's one laurel that's always eluded you, which brings us to last week. What was the story there?
Barney: Buckle up, Jimbo. This one's a doozy.
Quote from Ted
Wendy: Take-out order for Cook Pu. We have a number two over here for Cook Pu.
Ted: You guys got Wendy saying it now? Come on, okay, I get it. Cook Pu is a stupid name, and it gets stupider and stupider the more you say it. Cook Pu. Cook Pu. Cook Pu.
Cook Pu: Here.