Marshall: Here you go, guys, the official hat of Barney's Perfect Week. I was gonna do shirts, but then you have to guess sizes, and feelings get hurt. It's a mess.
Lily: In commemoration of Barney's induction into the Hall of Game, this tie worn on the seventh night of his Perfect Week is hereby retired.
Marshall: May Barney's heroic feat be remembered and spoken of for generations to come.
Ted: I'm totally gonna sit my kids down one day, and tell them about the time Uncle Barney nailed seven chicks in a row. [all laugh]
Future Ted: [v.o.] Am I a bad dad?

Future Ted: [v.o.] Kids, we all have different ways of dealing with nerves.
Woman: It'll just be a few more minutes, Mr. Stinson.
Future Ted: Some people chew their nails. Some people tap their feet. And some people imagine they're being
interviewed by renowned sportscaster, Jim Nantz.
Jim Nantz: Hello, friends. Every sport has had an icon who transcends the game. Boxing had Ali, basketball had Jordan, and the sport of sleeping with random hotties has my next guest, Mr. Barney Stinson. Barney, welcome.
Barney: Thanks, Jim. Great to be back on the show.
Jim Nantz: Good to have you with us. And, you know, the stats, they really speak for themselves. Over 200 women, spanning six continents, 17 nationalities, 74 sexual positions, and not a single fatty. Hey ,it's impressive. And with all these accomplishments though, there's one laurel that's always eluded you, which brings us to last week. What was the story there?
Barney: Buckle up, Jimbo. This one's a doozy.

Jim Nantz: So, night one was pretty routine?
Barney: Jim, there's nothing routine about the way I get down.
Jim Nantz: Respect. Take us to night two.
[night two at MacLaren's:]
Barney: See that hotty over there nursing a Black Russian? She's about to chase that with a white American. Up top! [nobody high-fives Barney] You know, if you're not careful, you're gonna lose me.