Lily: Look at all these guys. Oh, the sidewalk's going to smell like pee-pee now.
Robin: Well, we'd better start looking for a new bar.
Barney: What, are you... What... Are you crazy? It is a hot bartender. Do you know how long I have been waiting to land a... My friends, I have been with many women in my day. Lawyers, teachers, poets, doctors, professional equestrians, amateur equestrians, [later] a butcher, a baker, a candlestick maker... Yes, we're to the rhyming section now. A math professor, a tax assessor, a weight guesser. [later] A puppeteer, a blackjack dealer, a stay-at-home mom... That's a job, too, guys. A circuit court judge...
Robin: Get to the point!
Barney: I have never, ever scored a hot bartender. Until tonight.

Future Ted: [v.o.] If anyone could fix something like this, it was Barney's personal tailor, TV's Tim Gunn.
Tim Gunn: I'm sorry, Barney. I couldn't make it work.
Barney: [whimpering] So young. There's nothing else you could do?
Tim Gunn: No. But there is another suit that can use the buttons from your suit.
Barney: That can... Like an organ donor?
Tim Gunn: Your suit's death could mean another suit's life.
Barney: Oh, my God. Do it. You're doing the right thing. [crying]
Tim Gunn: Please don't cry on this. It's silk.

Barney: [singing] I know what you're thinking What's Barney been drinking? That girl was smoking hot Yes, I could've nailed her But no, it's not a failure 'Cause there's one thing she is not To score a ten would be just fine
But I'd rather be dressed to the nines It's a truth you can't refute Nothing suits me like a suit!
Picture a world Where all the boys and girls Are impeccably well-dressed That delivery guy in a jacket and tie That puppy in a double-breast That '80s dude with muttonchops That baby with a lollipop That lady cop who's kind of cute Nothing suits them like a suit
Choir: Suits
Barney: A wingman I can wear
Choir: Suits
Barney: They're oh, so debonair
Choir: Suits
Barney: The perfect way to snare A girl with daddy issues
Choir: Suits
Barney: In navy blue or black Check out this perfect rack I want to give them a squeeze
Marshall: Oh, really? Then answer these questions if you please [Irish accent] What would you do if you had to choose Between your suits and a pot of gold?
Barney: Suits
Ted: What would you say if you gave your suits away And in return you'd never grow old?
Barney: Suits
Robin: What would you pick? One million chicks Or a single three-piece suit?
Barney: It's moot
Lily: What if world peace Were within your reach?
Barney: [talking] I'm gonna stop you right there. It's suits. Come on, Lily, get your head out of your ass.
Barney: Two, three, four [singing] Girls will go and girls will come But there's only one absolute Every bro on the go needs to know That there's no accepted substitute I'm sorry, suits, let's make amends My Sunday best are my best friends Send casual Friday down the laundry chute 'Cause nothing suits the undisputed Oft-saluted suitor of repute Like... A... Wait for it... Suit
Choir: Nothing suits him Like a suit Suit Up! Suit Up! Suit Up! Suit Up!
Barney: [talking] Then again, she is pretty hot.