Barney Quote #1029
Quote from Barney in The Rough Patch
[Marshall and Lily join Ted as they watch Barney's recorded plea on the "Archisexture" tape:]
Barney: [on tape] I might look happy, but don't believe it. Barney Stinson is meant to be single. So, please, if you value my best friendship... That's right, Marshall, I'm his best friend. How does that feel? Then get me out of this. And, finally, since you were expecting some porn. [Barney focuses the camera on his bed, where a naked woman is waiting] No, no, no, baby. Don't worry. The flashing green light means it's off.
Lily: Are we sure he was finished talking?
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘The Rough Patch’ Quotes
Quote from Barney
[As Ted watches the pornographic movie "Archisexture", from Barney's collection:]
Woman: [on tape] Archisexture...
Barney: [on tape] Hello, Ted. If you're watching this tape, and I knew you'd pick this one, then you are now in possession of my porn. This can only mean one of two things, either I'm dead, or I'm in a committed relationship. If I'm dead, I want you to honor my memory by taking my body to The Hamptons and recreating Weekend at Bernie's. I wanna dance, I wanna have sex with a girl and I wanna go fishing. If, on the other hand, I'm in a committed relationship, then, as your best friend, I have only one request. Please, for the love of God, get me out of it!
Quote from Barney
[flashback to Barney and Robin fighting the "Canadian-American war":]
Barney: Thank God that song's over. Who the hell was that old lady singing?
Robin: Okay, you know that Neil Young is my favorite musician.
Barney: Right. Now was that the same old lady who played Archie Bunker's wife in All in the Family, or just a sound-alike?
Robin: Neil Young is a Canadian treasure. Do not make fun of Neil Young.
Barney: Robin, I would never make fun of a defenseless, old lady with vocal cord paralysis. Ever.
Quote from Robin
Alan Thicke: Well, Robin, I'm glad we could catch up.
Robin: Yeah. Let's do it again soon.
Lily: I love that you guys are still friends so long after you did that music video.
Robin: Yeah.
Alan Thicke: The music... Oh, the Sandcastles video. Yes, yes. We did that together, too.
Barney: What do you mean "too"?
Alan Thicke: Well, we had this failed Canadian TV variety show. That was so embarrassing. Imagine what would happen if anybody ever got their hands on that?
Robin: Oh, you.
[Barney runs out of MacLaren's]