Ted Quote #691
Quote from Ted in The Rough Patch
Ted: "Archisexture." That is not how you spell "Buckminster Fuller."
Future Ted: [v.o.] Kids, pornography is bad. And so, I was getting rid of that vile pornography right away...
[Ted picks up the large chest of porn]
Ted: I am getting rid of this vile pornography right away.
Future Ted: When something terrible happened.
[Ted trips, the chest falls to the floor and one of the videos flies around the room before landing in the VHS player:]
Ted: Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no.
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘The Rough Patch’ Quotes
Quote from Barney
[As Ted watches the pornographic movie "Archisexture", from Barney's collection:]
Woman: [on tape] Archisexture...
Barney: [on tape] Hello, Ted. If you're watching this tape, and I knew you'd pick this one, then you are now in possession of my porn. This can only mean one of two things, either I'm dead, or I'm in a committed relationship. If I'm dead, I want you to honor my memory by taking my body to The Hamptons and recreating Weekend at Bernie's. I wanna dance, I wanna have sex with a girl and I wanna go fishing. If, on the other hand, I'm in a committed relationship, then, as your best friend, I have only one request. Please, for the love of God, get me out of it!
Quote from Barney
[flashback to Barney and Robin fighting the "Canadian-American war":]
Barney: Thank God that song's over. Who the hell was that old lady singing?
Robin: Okay, you know that Neil Young is my favorite musician.
Barney: Right. Now was that the same old lady who played Archie Bunker's wife in All in the Family, or just a sound-alike?
Robin: Neil Young is a Canadian treasure. Do not make fun of Neil Young.
Barney: Robin, I would never make fun of a defenseless, old lady with vocal cord paralysis. Ever.
Quote from Robin
Alan Thicke: Well, Robin, I'm glad we could catch up.
Robin: Yeah. Let's do it again soon.
Lily: I love that you guys are still friends so long after you did that music video.
Robin: Yeah.
Alan Thicke: The music... Oh, the Sandcastles video. Yes, yes. We did that together, too.
Barney: What do you mean "too"?
Alan Thicke: Well, we had this failed Canadian TV variety show. That was so embarrassing. Imagine what would happen if anybody ever got their hands on that?
Robin: Oh, you.
[Barney runs out of MacLaren's]