Marshall Quote #508
Marshall: Come on, dude, you've been at this for three days without a break. Now, it's your birthday. Come up to the roof and have a beer with me.
Ted: No can do. Presentation is tomorrow. Hat buildings don't design themselves.
Marshall: It's a rib joint for fat tourists. Just make sure the doors are wide and the chairs are reinforced. Now, birthday beer on the roof. Let's go!
Quote from Lily
Lily: Why do you even want it?
Ted: Because I have to be an architect. That's... That's the plan.
Lily: Screw the plan. I planned on being a famous artist. Marshall planned on being an environmental lawyer. Robin planned on being a TV reporter.
Robin: Uh, I am a TV reporter. I'm on every morning at 4:00 a.m.
Lily: Is that still on? Huh. Good for you.
Robin: Somebody watch it, please.
Lily: Barney planned on being a violinist.
Lily: Don't tell me things. Look, you can't design your life like a building. It doesn't work that way. You just have to live it, and it will design itself.
Ted: So, what, I should just do nothing?
Lily: No, listen to what the world is telling you to do and take the leap.
Quote from Barney
Barney: Hey, Ted, whatcha doing?
Ted: Designing a building shaped like a hat.
Barney: Now a good time to chat?
Barney: So, what do you think of Robin?
Ted: Barney, I really need to get to work, so...
Barney: Great. Say you and I went suit-shopping, and you happened upon a beautiful suit, a beautiful Canadian suit. Double-breasted. Hmm. You try it on, but it's not exactly the right fit for you. So, you put it back. Then I try it on. I don't really want to take the same suit that you had your eye on, but at the same time, I really like that suit.
Ted: Buy the suit, Barney. You clearly care about it. Tell the suit how you feel.
Barney: Okay. But Ted, remember that that was your answer because... The suit is Robin. [imitates explosion] I know! Right?
Ted: I'm with you, buddy.
Barney: You are now. Because I explained it to you. [hugs Ted]
Quote from The Final Page (Part 2)
Marshall: Oh, I forgot the lullaby. Do you know Marvin's lullaby? We sing it to him every night.
[flashback to Marshall playing guitar and singing to Marvin with Lily adding percussion:]
Marshall: Night, night, little Marvin Stars twinkle for you [Lily plays chimes] The Dreamland train's a-chuggin' [Lily blows train whistle] All your dreams will come true And the horsie says, "Good night" [Lily plays wood scraper block] And the birdie says, "Good night" [Lily blows bird whistle] And the elephant says, "Good night" [Lily plays tuba] And the skeleton playing his own rib cage Says, "Good Night" [Lily plays xylophone] And the robot says, "Good night"
Lily: [uses a voice-changing megaphone] Good night.
Man: [o.s.] Enough with the damn music!
Marshall: [singing] And Mr. Nesbit says, "Good night" And the whole world says, "Good night" Take it, Mommy.
[Lily plays the violin]
Quote from Bagpipes
Barney: Hey, tiger. How you holding up? Do you need a hug? You want to talk about yesterday? Safe space.
Ted: Barney thinks Lily asking you to wash your dishes right away is a sign your marriage is crumbling.
Marshall: What? Why? Lily likes a clean sink, so I do the dishes right away, what's the big deal?
Barney: I'll tell you what the big deal is. You know how I was always the best at being single?
Barney: Well, now I am the best at relationships. Even better than you and Lily.
Marshall: Aw. Look at you. Had a girlfriend for five minutes, you think you can play with the big boys, adorable. Son, I've been in a relationship since you had a ponytail and were playing Dave Matthews on your mama's Casio. I'm a good boyfriend in my sleep. I can rock a killer foot rub with one hand and brew a kick-ass pot of chamomile in the other that would make you weep. Hell, I've forgotten more about microwaving fat-free popcorn and watching Sandra Bullock movies than you'll ever know, but thanks for your concern, rook.