Barney Quote #928
Quote from Barney in The Three Days Rule
[Ted reading Holli's text in the apartment:]
Holli: "And when we finally come together, I want you to..."
[flashback to Stan telling this to Barney and Marshall at MacLaren's:]
Stan: hold me. Hold me all night. Stroke my hair. Tell me I'm a woman and show me you're a man. Until there there was only now. You and I... and now.
Marshall: Yes! You want me to text that to Ted. I know that.
[back to Ted reading the text in Holli's voice:]
Holli: "I do not ask of the night explanations. I wait for it, and it envelops me, and so you and bread and light and shadow are."
[flashback:]
Stan: That's Pablo Neruda.
Marshall: I don't know... what bread was doing in there, but that touched me here and here.
Barney: Well, if Ted won't say it, I will. I love you.
Stan: That's cool.
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘The Three Days Rule’ Quotes
Quote from Barney
Ted: Barney, the three days rule is insane. I mean, who even came up with that?
Barney: Jesus.
Marshall: Barney, don't do this. Not with Jesus.
Barney: Seriously. Jesus started the whole wait 3 days thing. He waited 3 days to come back to life. It was perfect. If he have only waited one day, a lot of people wouldn't have even heard that he died. They'd be all, "Jesus, what up?" And Jesus would probably be, like, "What up? I died yesterday". And then they'd be all, "Uh, you look pretty alive to me, dude". And then he would have to explain how he was resurrected and how it was a miracle. And then, the dude would be, like, "Okay, whatever you say, bro".
Robin: Wow, ancient dialogue sounds so stilted now.
Barney: And he's not going to come back on a Saturday. Everybody's busy doing chores. Working the loom, trimming their beards. No. He waits the exact right number of days... Three.
Ted: OK, I promise, I'll wait three days. Just please stop talking.
Barney: Plus, it's Sunday, so everyone's in church already. They're all in there, "Oh, no, Jesus is dead". Then, bam! He bursts through the back door, runs up the aisle. Everyone's totally psyched. And, FYI, that's when he invented the high-five. Three days, Ted. We wait three days to call a woman because that's how long Jesus wants us to wait. True story.
Quote from Barney
Ted: I just got that girl's number. Check it out. Holli.
Barney: Nice. Girls whose names end in L-Y are always dirty. Holli, Kelly, Carly, Lily.
Marshall: Hey! Oh, yeah, I know it's true.
Barney: And don't even get me started on girls whose names should end in Y, but instead end in I. Those girls are like roller coasters. You got to wait in a long line, but once you get up there, you just hold on for dear life and hope you don't drop your keys.
Quote from Robin
Robin: So you might as well tell them you're on to them.
Ted: Yeah. Or... I text them something that will really mess with their heads.
Robin: Oh, I gotcha. Okay. How about... "I haven't told any of my friends yet, but I only have three months to live"?
Ted: Not bad. How about "I once killed a man with a shovel, and those feelings are creeping up again"?
Robin: Uh-huh. Uh-huh. I liked that thing someone said before about having three months to live.
Ted: How about "I never told anyone this, but I slept with my best friend's mom"?
Robin: Oh, that is good, but I feel like we keep coming back to that three months to live thing.