Ted Quote #608
Quote from Ted in The Three Days Rule
Ted: Look, I know this sounds crazy, but I think I might actually be falling for this girl.
Robin: You're falling for Barney and Marshall.
Ted: What?
Robin: They didn't believe that you could wait the 3 days, so Barney changed her number in your phone to his work cell. Holli is Barney and Marshall.
Ted: Wait. That whole time it was them? So Holli wasn't in the bath?
[Ted imagines Barney and Marshall in a bath together]
Ted: Or sitting by her window, looking up at the stars, thinking about me?
[Ted imagines Barney and Marshall sitting together under a pink duvet]
Ted: Or lounging in her old cheerleader uniform reading architecture magazines?
[Ted imagines Barney and Marshall wearing cheerleader outfits, snuggling together on a couch reading a magazine]
Robin: Yeah. I don't think they actually did those things. They were just at the bar.
Ted: Right.
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘The Three Days Rule’ Quotes
Quote from Barney
Ted: Barney, the three days rule is insane. I mean, who even came up with that?
Barney: Jesus.
Marshall: Barney, don't do this. Not with Jesus.
Barney: Seriously. Jesus started the whole wait 3 days thing. He waited 3 days to come back to life. It was perfect. If he have only waited one day, a lot of people wouldn't have even heard that he died. They'd be all, "Jesus, what up?" And Jesus would probably be, like, "What up? I died yesterday". And then they'd be all, "Uh, you look pretty alive to me, dude". And then he would have to explain how he was resurrected and how it was a miracle. And then, the dude would be, like, "Okay, whatever you say, bro".
Robin: Wow, ancient dialogue sounds so stilted now.
Barney: And he's not going to come back on a Saturday. Everybody's busy doing chores. Working the loom, trimming their beards. No. He waits the exact right number of days... Three.
Ted: OK, I promise, I'll wait three days. Just please stop talking.
Barney: Plus, it's Sunday, so everyone's in church already. They're all in there, "Oh, no, Jesus is dead". Then, bam! He bursts through the back door, runs up the aisle. Everyone's totally psyched. And, FYI, that's when he invented the high-five. Three days, Ted. We wait three days to call a woman because that's how long Jesus wants us to wait. True story.
Quote from Barney
Ted: I just got that girl's number. Check it out. Holli.
Barney: Nice. Girls whose names end in L-Y are always dirty. Holli, Kelly, Carly, Lily.
Marshall: Hey! Oh, yeah, I know it's true.
Barney: And don't even get me started on girls whose names should end in Y, but instead end in I. Those girls are like roller coasters. You got to wait in a long line, but once you get up there, you just hold on for dear life and hope you don't drop your keys.
Quote from Robin
Robin: So you might as well tell them you're on to them.
Ted: Yeah. Or... I text them something that will really mess with their heads.
Robin: Oh, I gotcha. Okay. How about... "I haven't told any of my friends yet, but I only have three months to live"?
Ted: Not bad. How about "I once killed a man with a shovel, and those feelings are creeping up again"?
Robin: Uh-huh. Uh-huh. I liked that thing someone said before about having three months to live.
Ted: How about "I never told anyone this, but I slept with my best friend's mom"?
Robin: Oh, that is good, but I feel like we keep coming back to that three months to live thing.