Lily Quote #331
Quote from Lily in The Front Porch
Ted: You broke me and Karen up? Are you insane? What gives you the right to do that?
Lily: Ted, I did it for your own good. You just weren't seeing how awful she was. She failed the Front Porch Test.
Ted: What's the Front Porch Test?
Lily: Ted, you, me, and Marshall have been best friends since college. Think about how much we all mean to each other. So when I picture the future, I picture us all together. How we'll all be retired, sipping tea on the front porch of our beach house, playing bridge all day.
[fantasy scene of elderly Ted, Marshall and Lily on the front porch:]
Lily: Okay, bridges are wild. Four of a bridge beats a royal bridge.
Ted: I see your bridge and I raise you three bridges.
Marshall: Bridge! I win!
[present:]
Barney: You have no idea how to play bridge, do you?
Lily: We're gonna take a class.
Marshall: It's important to stay active.
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘The Front Porch’ Quotes
Quote from Lily
Ted: Who else?
Lily: Remember that weird sci-fi girl who wanted you to propose after, like, two months? You barely even liked her, but you were still thinking about it, so...
[flashback to Ted and Marshall, dressed as Luke Skywalker and Chewbacca, in line outside the movie theater. A woman in a Darth Vader costume approaches them.]
Lily: Listen, Ted, you're great, and this is so difficult, but I think we're looking for different things. So, live long and prosper. Or whatever.
[present:]
Ted: That was you? This is insane!
Quote from Marshall
Barney: So you're this comfy every night, and Lily still has sex with you?
Marshall: Yeah. That's what marriage is all about, man, unconditional love. You can wear whatever you want and still get laid.
Barney: Tell me more about being married.
Marshall: Well, sometimes, when you're married, you wake up to the smell of breakfast already on the table.
Barney: And coffee, too?
Marshall: And coffee, too. Sometimes, she'll even put out a vase of freshly cut flowers.
Barney: I love flowers. And sometimes, when you're worried you've made all the wrong decisions in life and you're not nearly the man you want to be, what does she do then?
Marshall: Well, she tells you that you're great and it's all gonna be okay.
Barney: That's wonderful. And she'll help you find other girls to have sex with?
Marshall: I mean, I guess. Maybe if you agreed upon that beforehand, yeah. [Barney's asleep] Mm, little guy had a big day. We'll talk about it tomorrow. Sweet dreams, slugger.
Quote from Ted
Ted: And I realized, maybe it shouldn't matter what my friends think of my girlfriend, but it sure as hell matters what my girlfriend thinks of my friends.
Robin: Wow. So you ended it?
Ted: Yeah. So if you want to be my plus one, Lily's a damn good cook.
Robin: Mmm. Beef pot pie, mac and cheese, homemade buttermilk biscuits.
Ted: Well, no wonder Marshall dies at 68.