Ted Quote #531

Quote from Ted in The Fight

Ted: Doug, look, you don't understand, you beat up those guys all by yourself.
Marshall: It's true, all right? They had nothing to do with it. I mean... look at these two.
Barney: [runs off] It was all Ted!
Marshall: Look at this guy.
Ted: Yeah, look at me!
Marshall: He wouldn't last 5 minutes in a fight.
Ted: I think I could last at least five...
Marshall: He's got the muscle definition of linguini.
Ted: Linguini with meatballs maybe... check it.

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 ‘The Fight’ Quotes

Quote from Barney

Ted: Okay. We have to start going someplace else. At this bar, I'm always going to be the guy who got left at the altar.
Marshall: This sucks.
Barney: Good Times.
Ted: Uh-oh. We lost Barney.
Robin: What do you mean?
Lily: There's a girl over there in a tight red sweater. So he's not listening to a word anyone's saying. Right, Barney?
Barney: Give Me a Break!
Ted: See, he figured out a while back he could fake an entire conversation just by saying titles of Black sitcoms from the '70s and '80s.
Barney: What's Happening?
Lily: Hey, Barney, want to go upstairs and do stuff to me that I won't even let Marshall do?
Barney: Ha. Diff'rent Strokes.

Quote from Marshall

Marshall: Dude, fighting is for losers. We're civilized guys. Civilized guys don't fight. Unless it's with lightsabers. But that's like three to five years away, so...
Robin: Well, that's not true.
Marshall: Robin, I'm on the forums every day. Three to five Thanksgivings from now, I'm going to be carving
the turkey with Old Green.

Quote from Marshall

[Thanksgiving day, three to five years later:]
Marshall: It is so good to be home. Mom, Lily, fantastic job. "Good food, good meat, good God, let's eat." Right? Okay, here we go. Goggles on. [Marshall powers up a lightsaber] All right, so, you guys pass the plates. Lily, you want white or dark meat?
Lily: Dark! Honey, please be careful.