Marshall Quote #433

Quote from Marshall in The Fight

Marshall: Good news... I talked to the guys.
Ted: What guys?
Marshall: The guys you didn't beat up. They agreed to drop the lawsuit. Boom! Lawyered.
Barney: What? They agreed to drop it?
Marshall: Yeah. I just explained that you two are wusses. We had a good laugh about that. A good long laugh, actually. I explained how you get a mani/pedi once a month.
Barney: Weekly, Wolverine... some of us care.
Marshall: And how you played the hammer dulcimer in the Pre-Reformation Dance Society at Wesleyan.
Ted: Did you at least tell them we were one of the premier Medieval [med-ay-val] chamber groups in the Little Ivies?
Marshall: Oh, I did. And we all agreed it was much more likely that one guy beat up the three of them than that you two had anything to do with it, so...

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 ‘The Fight’ Quotes

Quote from Barney

Ted: Okay. We have to start going someplace else. At this bar, I'm always going to be the guy who got left at
the altar.
Marshall: This sucks.
Barney: Good times.
Ted: Uh-oh. We lost Barney.
Robin: What do you mean?
Lily: There's a girl over there in a tight red sweater. So he's not listening to a word anyone's saying. Right, Barney?
Barney: Give me a break!
Ted: See, he figured out a while back he could fake an entire conversation just by saying titles of black sitcoms
from the '70s and '80s.
Barney: What's happening?
Lily: Hey, Barney, want to go upstairs and do stuff to me that I won't even let Marshall do?
Barney: Ha. Different strokes.

Quote from Marshall

Marshall: Dude, fighting is for losers. We're civilized guys. Civilized guys don't fight. Unless it's with lightsabers. But that's like three to five years away, so...
Robin: Well, that's not true.
Marshall: Robin, I'm on the forums every day. Three to five Thanksgivings from now, I'm going to be carving
the turkey with Old Green.

 Marshall Eriksen Quotes

Quote from The Final Page (Part 2)

Marshall: Oh, I forgot the lullaby. Do you know Marvin's lullaby? We sing it to him every night.
[flashback to Marshall playing guitar and singing to Marvin with Lily adding percussion:]
Marshall: Night, night, little Marvin Stars twinkle for you [Lily plays chimes] The Dreamland train's a-chuggin' [Lily blows train whistle] All your dreams will come true And the horsie says, "Good night" [Lily plays wood scraper block] And the birdie says, "Good night" [Lily blows bird whistle] And the elephant says, "Good night" [Lily plays tuba] And the skeleton playing his own rib cage Says, "Good Night" [Lily plays xylophone] And the robot says, "Good night"
Lily: [uses a voice-changing megaphone] Good night.
Man: [o.s.] Enough with the damn music!
Marshall: [singing] And Mr. Nesbit says, "Good night" And the whole world says, "Good night" Take it, Mommy.
[Lily plays the violin]

Quote from Bagpipes

Barney: Hey, tiger. How you holding up? Do you need a hug? You want to talk about yesterday? Safe space.
Ted: Barney thinks Lily asking you to wash your dishes right away is a sign your marriage is crumbling.
Marshall: What? Why? Lily likes a clean sink, so I do the dishes right away, what's the big deal?
Barney: I'll tell you what the big deal is. You know how I was always the best at being single?
Ted: No.
Barney: Well, now I am the best at relationships. Even better than you and Lily.
Marshall: Aw. Look at you. Had a girlfriend for five minutes, you think you can play with the big boys, adorable. Son, I've been in a relationship since you had a ponytail and were playing Dave Matthews on your mama's Casio. I'm a good boyfriend in my sleep. I can rock a killer foot rub with one hand and brew a kick-ass pot of chamomile in the other that would make you weep. Hell, I've forgotten more about microwaving fat-free popcorn and watching Sandra Bullock movies than you'll ever know, but thanks for your concern, rook.