Ted Quote #529
Marshall: I don't know.
Future Ted: [v.o.] Actually, he did know that the worst we were looking at was a small civil settlement, and probably no criminal charges. But he was really pissed at us.
Marshall: I mean, you guys could be looking at some serious prison time.
Barney: Prison?!
Ted: I can't go to prison! I mean, I could get a lot of reading done, finally write some short stories. Work out all the time. Seriously, if I don't come out of there completely ripped...
Barney: Ted, we can't go to prison! People get shivved in the joint! Plus the meals are really starchy.
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘The Fight’ Quotes
Quote from Barney
Ted: Okay. We have to start going someplace else. At this bar, I'm always going to be the guy who got left at the altar.
Marshall: This sucks.
Barney: Good Times.
Ted: Uh-oh. We lost Barney.
Robin: What do you mean?
Lily: There's a girl over there in a tight red sweater. So he's not listening to a word anyone's saying. Right, Barney?
Barney: Give Me a Break!
Ted: See, he figured out a while back he could fake an entire conversation just by saying titles of Black sitcoms from the '70s and '80s.
Barney: What's Happening?
Lily: Hey, Barney, want to go upstairs and do stuff to me that I won't even let Marshall do?
Barney: Ha. Diff'rent Strokes.
Quote from Marshall
Marshall: Dude, fighting is for losers. We're civilized guys. Civilized guys don't fight. Unless it's with lightsabers. But that's like three to five years away, so...
Robin: Well, that's not true.
Marshall: Robin, I'm on the forums every day. Three to five Thanksgivings from now, I'm going to be carving
the turkey with Old Green.
Quote from Marshall
[Thanksgiving day, three to five years later:]
Marshall: It is so good to be home. Mom, Lily, fantastic job. "Good food, good meat, good God, let's eat." Right? Okay, here we go. Goggles on. [Marshall powers up a lightsaber] All right, so, you guys pass the plates. Lily, you want white or dark meat?
Lily: Dark! Honey, please be careful.