Barney Quote #729
Quote from Barney in Intervention
[flashback, as Marshall explains the hole in the wall:]
Lily: That's it, Robin. Give me the stick.
Robin: I'll give you summer teeth. Some are here, some are there.
Lily: Robin, give me the stick.
Robin: Take off, hoser.
Lily: That's it!
[Lily and Robin start fighting]
Robin: Scrap?! I'll scrap!
Ted: Guys, come on!
Barney: For America.
Ted: All right, break it, break it up!
Barney: Ted, no! You never break up a girl fight! Never!
[Barney punches the wall]
Ted: Entirely Barney's fault. As, by the way, is the big scorch mark over the fireplace.
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘Intervention’ Quotes
Quote from Ted
[flashback to Marshall arriving at the apartment as Ted stacks books on a shelf:]
Marshall: Hey. What's that?
Ted: A 1986 World Book encyclopaedia. [en-sahy-kluh-pay-dee-uh] It's exactly the one I grew up with.
Marshall: Encyclopaedia?
Ted: Oh, you think it should be pronounced encyclo-pee-dia. It's a common mistake. But if you look at that squished together "ae" symbol in this here encyclopaedia, you'll learn that it's a ligature derived from the Anglo-Saxon rune...
[The bookshelves collapse, ripping off a portion of plasterboard and exposing the building's red brick walls]
Marshall: You know, you're gonna have to paedia for that.
Quote from Lily
Future Ted: [v.o.] After that, Interventions became a pretty regular thing around our apartment.
[Lily arrives home]
Lily: [in an English accent] Cor blimey. This is a nice bloody surprise. What's this about then?
Ted: Lily, it's about the weird fake English accent.
Lily: Bollocks.
Quote from Barney
[Barney enters MacLaren's dressed like an elderly man, complete with prosthetic make-up]
Barney: You there, what's your name?
Cindy: Excuse me?
Barney: Your name, woman, what's your name?!
Cindy: Cindy.
Barney: I knew it. You're the Cindy, the one who can change everything, or spell our inevitable doom. Now listen to me, Cindy. I am Barney Stinson, and I am on an urgent mission from the future.
Cindy: The future?
Barney: The future, and I can prove it to you. In exactly four seconds, the woman at that booth is going to slap that man. [Barney clears throat]
[Robin slaps Ted]
Ted: Ow! What the hell?
Barney: In a few minutes, the young me from your time is going to come through that door. Now, Cindy, I know this sounds insane, but in order to save the planet, You need to sleep with him tonight.
Cindy: What?
Barney: Sleep with Barney Stinson tonight, in whatever way he wants it, or he won't be able to find the solution to global warming that saves the human race.
Cindy: What are you talking about?
Barney: I have no time to explain. I have to get back to the reality accelerator before the vortex closes. Only you can save us, Cindy. I must away!