Marshall Quote #390

Quote from Marshall in The Best Burger in New York

Ted: There was that one time we thought we had a break in the case, remember?
Barney: Get this. You know who works out at my gym? Regis Philbin.
Marshall: The autographed picture.
[at the gym:]
Regis Philbin: [lifting weights] Of course I remember the place. It was the best burger I ever had. I still have dreams about this burger. Beautiful, haunting dreams! I wake up at night screaming, "Get out of my head, burger! Get out!"
Marshall: That's the one, Mr. Philbin. Do you remember where it is?
Regis Philbin: [hits a punching bag] No! I never wrote it down. But not a day goes by that I don't regret it. Why? Why? Do you know where it is?
Marshall: No.
Regis Philbin: And if you tell me it's at the Corner Bistro, I'm gonna smack you right in the face!
Barney: No. No, we don't know where it is.
Regis Philbin: Listen, Blondie! Don't mess with me! Daddy needs his meat.
Barney: I don't know where it is, Regis, I swear!
Regis Philbin: [to Marshall] What about you, Lurch? [to Ted] And what about you, satchel-mouth? [to Barney] This is my cell. You find that burger; you call me day or night.
Barney: OK, Regis, we will, we will.
Regis Philbin: So, what are you waiting for? Get out and find the burger!


 ‘The Best Burger in New York’ Quotes

Quote from Barney

Ted: Come on, Lily, he'll find a job eventually.
Barney: You know, Lil, when times are tough, I like to remember the uplifting words of my favorite song. [sings] "We'll be on your side when you need a friend. Through thick and thin you can always depend. On the world leaders in credit and banking. Goliath National Bank." Member FDIC.

Quote from Marshall

Marshall: This isn't it.
All: What?
Marshall: It's not it.
Ted: Marshall, you might not want to hear this, but... Is it at all possible this is the same burger you had eight years ago, only it could never live up to your ridiculously high expectations?
Robin: I mean, it is just a burger.
Marshall: Just a burger? [snorts] Just a burger? Robin, it's so much more than just a burger. I mean, that first bite... Oh, what heaven that first bite is. The bun, like a sesame-freckled breast of an angel, resting gently on the ketchup and mustard below. Flavors mingling in a seductive pas de deux. And then, a pickle - the most playful little pickle - and then a slice of tomato, a leaf of lettuce, and a... a patty... of ground beef, so... exquisite... swirling in your mouth, breaking apart and combining again in a fugue of sweets and savories so... delightful. This is no mere sandwich of grilled meat and toasted bread. This is God... speaking to us through food.
Lily: And you got our wedding vows off the Internet?

Quote from Future Ted

Future Ted: [v.o.] When I first moved to New York, it was dingy, disgusting, ugly, flea-ridden, stinky and altogether terrifying, but then, sadly, the whole city started to go uphill. The streets got a little cleaner, the rents got a little higher, and one by one, the crappy old places we loved began to disappear. The Elbow Room, an old punk rock club, became a drugstore. McHale's, a working-class watering hole, became a fast-food place. And Fez, a Moroccan-themed lounge, became a bank. And not just any bank.