Marshall Quote #375

Quote from Marshall in Miracles

[Flashback to Marshall begging for his job back after just visiting Lily's classroom:]
Marshall: [inner monologue] Oh, my God! I have lice. Those little bastards gave me lice. God, it itches. Don't scratch it. You'll look like a fool. You'll never get your job back. Okay, you can scratch, but just make it subtle. Okay, that's not working. Oh, sweet, sharp corner of the desk, how I long to rub my infested scalp against you. [throws pen on the floor, rubs his head against the desk] I was, um... just, uh...
Mr. Hewitt: You okay, Eriksen?
Marshall: Oh! Oh, yes, I'm good. I am good. Continue. [inner monologue] Mind over matter. There are no lice in my hair... laying eggs, burrowing into my scalp, eating their way all the way down to my brain! [out loud] I have lice!
Mr. Hewitt: "Lice"?! Lice! Get out! Get out of my office! [over the intercom] We've got lice! Everybody out of the building.
[present:]
Marshall: If it weren't for the lice, I would have gotten my job back, and I would have been working there when, two weeks later, the Securities and Exchange Commission came a-knocking. God sent those lice to my head like he sent the locusts to Egypt: to liberate me from corporate bondage. Miracle.

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 ‘Miracles’ Quotes

Quote from Robin

Robin: Ugh, man, I love Springsteen! He's like the American Bryan Adams.

Quote from Barney

Barney: I had to look away because if I watched what the paramedics were about to do, I would have passed out. Then they took out this electric blade thing and I kept thinking, "This isn't happening. This isn't happening. "
Lily: Oh, my God. What did they cut?
Barney: My suit. My beautiful suit.

Quote from Barney

Lily: Is that the something bad? That she invited you to a wedding?
Ted: Six months from now. As in we'll be together six months from now. Do you guys remember Barney's whole thing about making plans in a relationship?
[flashback to the guys at MacLaren's:]
Ted: Fourth row.
Barney: Ted, no. You're violating the date-time continuum. You never make plans with a girl further in the future than the amount of time you've been going out. You've been dating this girl for, what, two weeks? No, you're not taking her to a Springsteen concert in January. [rips tickets] By that time you won't even remember this Robin girl's name.